tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33557964272366244432024-03-14T00:41:35.931-07:00Pistol & JackSee more at www.pistolandjack.comPistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-34547689646793986162013-05-28T09:35:00.000-07:002013-05-28T09:35:22.038-07:00Q&A With P&J: We Have ALL The Answers<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We believe in being open and honest with our fans to the point where you're emotionally uncomfortable. With that in mind we've started a new video series so we can answer all of your questions. <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Need advice? Want to know our thoughts on politics? Burning to discover our shameful past secrets? Don’t be shy. We will tell you anything and everything.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Here is the first episode. Watch it. Share it with your friends. Then send</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"> your questions to us on Twitter at @PistolAndJack, or Facebook at facebook.com/pistolandjack, or e-mail info@pistolandjack.com.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/CZdf-v1kj0I?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;">Until next time! P&J xoxo</span></span>Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-72357235668754026542013-03-25T09:28:00.001-07:002013-03-25T09:28:54.899-07:00Balls In My Soup: Happy Passover!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hi strangers! I’m back with important thoughts and wisdom. I’m still
taking questions for future blogs (uhm, I will totally answer anything you ask
if you <a href="https://twitter.com/thisispistol" target="_blank">send me a question</a>, why is nobody asking?), but for this one, I thought
I’d talk to you about something Jewey.<span style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Tonight is the first night of Passover, the fab Jewish holiday where we
celebrate that the Jews got the hell out of Egypt back in the days when we were slaves and built all those sexy pyramids. We have a big meal called a
<i>seder</i> with symbolic foods (like processed and reformed boiled fish balls, and
processed and reformed boiled cracker balls) and traditions, stories, songs, etc. The
most important part of the seder is the re-telling of the story of Moses and
the Exodus. Since most of y’all in the UK and internet don’t know what the eff
I’m talking about (don’t worry, I know you’re not anti-Semitic, you’re just
ignorant) I will explainate the story to you. Tell it to your loved ones over a
bowl of Matzah ball soup and you’re halfway to Jewdom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8kOmhV6LQ6d9blklLPw2w2k2pzQK3X61NBVkNTzNCipU9PlcKqFOGWgt2vjVNSJWAtc7SUBoHfhVMUiXeEr2CsQCB7MTY8X7mhZm_LiTCvYCTYRpFArGdsNfQURFBV2HxXhYtZirAZd0/s1600/sammy2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8kOmhV6LQ6d9blklLPw2w2k2pzQK3X61NBVkNTzNCipU9PlcKqFOGWgt2vjVNSJWAtc7SUBoHfhVMUiXeEr2CsQCB7MTY8X7mhZm_LiTCvYCTYRpFArGdsNfQURFBV2HxXhYtZirAZd0/s320/sammy2.jpg" width="255" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>World Famous Jew, Sammy Davis Jewnior</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The Story of Passover by Pistol Rubenstein:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, we're in Ancient Egypt. There's this new horrible king in town
called Pharaoh (Pharaoh is actually just the word for "king". I'm sure he had a full
name, but he doesn't deserve to be called it.) It's a long time after
Joseph did the shuffle in his fancypants coat, and the Jews don't have anyone
left who has their back. Pharaoh has made all the Jews slaves, because when
he's not applying his guyliner and worshipping cats, he's all about real-estate
development, i.e., having the pyramids built, and he needs some free labour.
Obviously, the Hebrews are not happy about this situation. Pharaoh is worried
they might get Twitter and revolt all Arab-Spring style, so he orders his
soldiers to go out and kill any new born Hebrew boy. A Hebrew slave named
Yocheved has just had a baby boy, so she's all like, "Crap, what the eff
am I supposed to do?" And her other son Aaron is all like, "Leave the
baby in a dumpster and maybe someone will find it." And then her
daughter Miriam is like, "No stupid, that's what irresponsible teenagers
are supposed to do at the prom. Don’t be such an idiot. What she should do is
leave him on the Dursley's doorstep and then he'll go to Hogwarts and become a
famous wizard." They bounce these ideas around for a bit, until
eventually they decide to put him in a basket and float him down the river with
the hopes that Brangelina will adopt him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Miriam volunteers to follow her baby brother as he floats down the river to see what happens to him. Eventually, he is found by none
other than the Pharaoh’s daughter, the Princess. She's like "I'm
totally gonna raise this baby as my own. He's so cute and he fits in my
handbag." And no one really questions the fact that she is unwed and
wasn't pregnant for 9 months and they all just accept this baby as the prince.
She names him Moses, because that's what Gwyneth Paltrow named her kid and it
sounded cool. It also means "drawn from the water", which
totally applies to his situation. Cowinkydink! She of course needs a nanny, because
princesses have a lot of important stuff to do like be fanned by palm fronds
and buy sandals, and raising a kid takes up a lot of me-time. Miriam steps up
and is like, "I'll help take care of your baby", which is all cool,
until they're like "Wait a sec, who's gonna feed this baby, cuz neither of
us have milk in our teats?" And then Miriam's like "ACTUALLY, I know
JUST the woman, wink wink nudge nudge," and brings Yocheved in to the palace, so Moses' real mom
ends up kinda raising him anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Moses grows up as a prince, although he always feels a bit like the
black sheep of the family. (He was also rumoured to have a stutter, which must
have been tough for him, because bullying is like a big thing, and this was
before <i>Glee </i>taught us to accept the weirdos.) He kind of figures out he's
a Hebrew, probably in the way Madonna's Malawian son David has probably figured
out by now he's not her biological child. One day he's out checking out
the pyramid construction and sees an Egyptian guard whipping a Hebrew
slave. "Th-th-that ain't cool!" Moses stammers out, right before his shit hits the fan and he goes
all Russell Crowe on the Egyptian, accidentally killing him in the process.
He’s all like, “Uhm, oops. I b-b-b-better get out of here before someone snaps
this on their phone and it’s all over TMZ.” So Moses runs away to the desert
and becomes a shepherd. That is not a euphemism for rehab. He totally tended
to sheep. For realz.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd_AXyUsXYxMPu1Lu9Oxr89P8Kwiba2sTxF__Ad03sv8agsVf2k4mGsPz_g6ZYZb4hZu8U5VWFZMeM8MouTACFrMNA_-Gg5dFGFUnSj6wijofpL62DlAsS_LkV0Yz_QEwZ-FEzHqUvSpc/s1600/14536993-camel-in-the-desert-animal-outdoor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd_AXyUsXYxMPu1Lu9Oxr89P8Kwiba2sTxF__Ad03sv8agsVf2k4mGsPz_g6ZYZb4hZu8U5VWFZMeM8MouTACFrMNA_-Gg5dFGFUnSj6wijofpL62DlAsS_LkV0Yz_QEwZ-FEzHqUvSpc/s320/14536993-camel-in-the-desert-animal-outdoor.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>A Desert Sheep</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Shepherd life is really peaceful and lovely and Moses has a hot wife
named Zipporah and thinks his life is sorted. Then one day, one of his
sheep goes astray and when he goes after it he sees a bush all on fire and stuff. I
guess this isn't too weird, until the bush starts speaking. Moses is like
"OMG". Which is ironic, because it actually turns out to be God
in the burning bush, who's all like "Dude, how could you forget about your
people who are still back there being slaves? You have to DO something. Start
a petition on Change.org. Write to your Congressman. Whatevs, just try
something. Go back and free them!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, Moses goes back to Egypt. He's a little nervous about taking
on the Pharaoh, especially because he still stutters like a Fatboy Slim remix.
He’s like, “I’mma get me someone who’s good at sp-sp-speaking to talk for me”
and he reunites with his brother Aaron who is all grown up and snarky as hell.
Aaron helps him out and they go together to Pharaoh and say: "Let my
people go!" And Pharaoh’s like: "Lolz". So Moses
tries to prove that God is on his side by changing his shepherding staff into a
snake. But Pharaoh has two magicians in his palace named Derren Brown and
David Blaine and they do the same trick, and Moses is like, "Shit, that
was all I got." Then God steps in and does some biblical shit to
freak Pharaoh out. First all the water turns to blood like something out of a
Wes Craven movie, and when Pharaoh still won't let the Hebrews go, God sends a
bunch of frogs to infest the land, like something out of a PT Anderson movie.
Pharaoh says "No" again. This keeps happening with a bunch more plagues
like lice, flies, cattle disease, boils, hail, locusts, and darkness. Pharaoh
is damn stubborn and won't negotiate. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrkhHb3KvcPaIBO18N5a4VWsWFzQvkVe_HSGGBTo9Xxg1FvXcTmnWiPH_oRmrl6P-r5SuP4QBvVgxy9L25ZIFyuuAiCtMPeyBq8fjG9R5Ww7yG1406QhjywJaObhKtgb4VoJ38YsMi2pU/s1600/The+Darkness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrkhHb3KvcPaIBO18N5a4VWsWFzQvkVe_HSGGBTo9Xxg1FvXcTmnWiPH_oRmrl6P-r5SuP4QBvVgxy9L25ZIFyuuAiCtMPeyBq8fjG9R5Ww7yG1406QhjywJaObhKtgb4VoJ38YsMi2pU/s320/The+Darkness.jpg" width="236" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>The Plague of Darkness</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Finally, God is like "I gotta do something way harsh. About
midnight I’mma come down there, rings out. Every firstborn in Egypt will die,
from the firstborn son of Pharaoh, to the firstborn of the slave girl, and all
the firstborn of the cattle as well. I AIN’T MESSING. There will be loud
wailing throughout Egypt—worse than there has ever been or ever will be
again." That’s some cold stuff, right? So, the Angel of Death flies down to
Egypt to kill all the firstborn children, but hold up there’s an important
thing here! Before this Angel dude comes around, God gives a little tip to the
Hebrews, and says "Paint some lamb's blood on your door as a kind of 'Do
Not Disturb' sign and that will be our little code so the Angel of Death
will <i>pass over </i>your house and not kill anyone." Get it?
PASS. OVER.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sooooo, this happens and Pharaoh is finally broken into a simpering shell of a human being because his son has
been killed. Moses and Aaron say "Let my people go" one last time, and
Pharaoh's like, "Fine, just get out of here, but hurry before I change my
mind."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Moses rounds up the Hebrew folk, and anyone else who is not crazy about
living under Pharaoh’s rule, and they get out of there RIGHT quick. They
don't even have time to let their bread rise. Can you imagine? Having to
leave before your bread has risen? We have it so easy now! Anyway, the
bread bakes on their backs as they carry it through the hot Egyptian sun, but
it becomes this really grim hard cracker sort of thing because they didn't get
to bake it properly. They called it Matzah. (Years later we will mash it up and boil it into
delicious ball soup, but for now it's all they've got and honestly there are
bigger things to stress over.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkTqVlPSqC6ytaoK96AzVh6YcQn_hU3iRUiyTGbsGKLV69cq0o-H72PFwNgbdSff6PQRhKX5zSAxiKHcbMM2t8dBMJ_gZhuO3rr0GuSgdonVOgdrFcxV8vBrxnHiQGw3Gglq8so0tQL3Q/s1600/photo+%25283%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkTqVlPSqC6ytaoK96AzVh6YcQn_hU3iRUiyTGbsGKLV69cq0o-H72PFwNgbdSff6PQRhKX5zSAxiKHcbMM2t8dBMJ_gZhuO3rr0GuSgdonVOgdrFcxV8vBrxnHiQGw3Gglq8so0tQL3Q/s1600/photo+%25283%2529.JPG" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Ball Soup</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">They run as quickly as they can to get out of Egypt and eventually find
their way to the Sea of Reeds. Just as they get there they turn around
and see that Pharaoh has sent a bunch of Egyptian soldiers their way and
there's like, nowhere to go but into the water. Oh, and there's NO BOAT. Moses raises his
Godly-empowered shepherd staff again in the hope that something, anything will happen.
Nothing does. Everyone is like: fuuuuuck. Then, this ballsy mother fucker named
Nachshon, which is Hebrew for "ballsy mother fucker" takes a literal
leap of faith and just jumps into the water. At that point, the waters
part and the dry land underneath is available for the Hebrews and their
Jew-loving pals to run away into. By the time Pharaoh’s soldiers catch
up, the water closes back and the soldiers all drown. At this point, Miriam
busts out some tambourines and bongo drums and leads everyone in a rousing
rendition of Cee-Lo Green's "Fuck You" to celebrate. God is
like, “Hold up, I mean, I know I just smote a bunch of kids, and drowned all those soliders, but don’t celebrate. They were my people,
too, so calm the fuck down.” (I may have misappropriated that quote from MLK,
but the idea is the same.) So Miriam’s like, “Naw dude, I’m not celebrating their
death, I’m celebrating you for helping us.” And God’s like “Okay, cool. As you
were.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And that's it! We were free! Just 40 more years of wandering in the desert and a few more thousand years of name-calling, oppression, and genocide. But I
won’t go into all that, because NO SPOILERS.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">THE END. And Happy Passover!!!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-971105135777261162012-10-31T06:20:00.001-07:002012-10-31T06:37:07.328-07:00#GlitterVoting: The Most Important Election Opinion is My Election Opinion<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Hello again!</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Last we blogged together I said I would allow y’all to ask
me anything and I would answer it. Wow. I have just been overwhelmed by the
questions that have been pouring in. There were literally FOURS of you just
begging to know my deepest darkests.
This was so popular that I think I will keep it on-going, so keep asking
and I will get to all of your questions in later posts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">One question I got is particularly relevant this week, so
I’m going to devote this whole entry to it and get to the other questions next time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Q: Pistol, you’ve typed in past blogs about <a href="http://pistolandjack.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/im-here-im-bi-weekly-get-used-to-it.html" target="_blank">your history in politics</a>, but who will you be voting for in
the upcoming election?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">A: Duuuuurh. What a silly question. Sometimes I feel like you
don’t know me at all. Obviously, it’s Roseanne.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8xDnzhszjStXokqeZHGiPQeN6lCJzrfVbJBudRJHUA8Xqr6atl0TZTML8qkTU4To3MQEQIjr5PrKiS9cUuY7SQDXsCi7tYy2VP5cG9JjWv_ShjOth_xdFGcAWd2LNADzq61Y3rmNei1U/s1600/Roseanne.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8xDnzhszjStXokqeZHGiPQeN6lCJzrfVbJBudRJHUA8Xqr6atl0TZTML8qkTU4To3MQEQIjr5PrKiS9cUuY7SQDXsCi7tYy2VP5cG9JjWv_ShjOth_xdFGcAWd2LNADzq61Y3rmNei1U/s320/Roseanne.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Read her bid for the Presidency <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/08/08/roseanne-barr-why-you-should-vote-for-me-for-president.html">HERE</a>.
</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I’m voting for you, Roseanne. (I presume you are reading
this, because I know you’re a big fan and follow everything I do on the
internet.) I know when you are president the whole world will be a better place
because you would eradicate things like war and poverty with your razor sharp
wit. All we would need is a dose of the funnies to cure third world diseases, and
those tea party folk? Well, we’ll just throw a barrel of laughs into their
Boston Harbor and see who comes out on top! Okay, I know making jokes about
jokes is like two positives becoming a negative, and therefore you might think
I’m being nasty or sarcasmical. The truth is, I think she would be a great
leader and we need more people like her running the country, and less people
like this:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimmHVcPKxUGqLNG_z9k_b-KCKwlLdOIWZzinSxZvTmVOs14VA7vSeEt36Ua6DQgC3G1946tvyGDpeRLTDq2wAl-nJr0LOIk2t4qrUvua62Qm6fFS2v2txjl_jOx0vIeMfvUofVywsb7HM/s1600/Paul+Ryan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimmHVcPKxUGqLNG_z9k_b-KCKwlLdOIWZzinSxZvTmVOs14VA7vSeEt36Ua6DQgC3G1946tvyGDpeRLTDq2wAl-nJr0LOIk2t4qrUvua62Qm6fFS2v2txjl_jOx0vIeMfvUofVywsb7HM/s400/Paul+Ryan.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span> <i style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This Kid Looks Like He Would Have Bullied the Teen Wolf</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> and Now You Want to Make Him President of the Galactic Senate?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It’s also high time we had a woman in office. And I know what you’re thinking. Having a woman in ANY office is dangerous. Trust me, I have done research on this. Here is what I found:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">1.) High heels hurt our feet and make us grumpy. A grumpy
President might choose to invade a country willy-nilly, with <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/3135932.stm" target="_blank">no reason or evidence</a> to do so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">2.) The fumes from our nail polish can go straight to our
heads, not to mention the years of inhaling hairspray.* These cosmetics almost always
induce hallucinogenic side effects. I learned this one the hard way the night
I had that vogue battle with Elmo. We wouldn’t want the President to
hallucinate. It'll start innocently with her thinking the walls of her office are round, but then she'll go all crazy and promise everyone a free doctor whenever they’re
sick. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">3.) We are highly susceptible to things like menstruation
which can sometimes lead to mood swings, flights of fancy, and the shedding of
the uterine lining. A President is no good to anyone if she has to spend every fifth week on the couch with a hot water bottle, downing a box of mac'n'cheese and watching X Files re-runs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">4.) According to my intense research of the comments
sections of every website with a comments section, it seems women are bad at
math and good at sandwich making. Presidents need to be GOOD at math and BAD at
sandwich making. Everyone knows that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">5.) Finally, our <a href="http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2012/10/24/do-hormones-drive-womens-votes/" target="_blank">hormones</a> basically just make us crazy all
the time. Trust me, I know from personal experience. What other reason would there
be for me crying my eyes out every time I try to fall asleep? And I am
constantly making irrational judgments like thinking it was okay to share my
ice cream cone with that fox on Dean Street.
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1X2WUcELo3kbZ9MtMWvCqBvEbPvH-Ui8ScWrjQa8EUMcJaO3ZoLbmt98MyaiRW00P1yKG3sx1LN9VT_OWzuozUpF5n02Qy8ErTDNEr9Fwq9NtHi8v0Bd8A2nznWx-RK-Jd84nF7FWIW0/s1600/IceCream+Fox.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1X2WUcELo3kbZ9MtMWvCqBvEbPvH-Ui8ScWrjQa8EUMcJaO3ZoLbmt98MyaiRW00P1yKG3sx1LN9VT_OWzuozUpF5n02Qy8ErTDNEr9Fwq9NtHi8v0Bd8A2nznWx-RK-Jd84nF7FWIW0/s1600/IceCream+Fox.png" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> It was not as cute as this, TRUST ME.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, I think we can all surmise that a female president is a
dangerous proposition. But I have discovered that not ALL women have the above
problems. Sure, MOST women are crazy
bitches, just like MOST women aren’t funny, and MOST women only want a man for
his money. But there are a few exceptions and Roseanne is one of them. Just look at her:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLRIJzXfTZci7fsFZnm1DfR2QT24Booz0xhYDgn9CIgJcE1VcgQPVJtnldreJRUcpce7_tVT3fjckAqdjWOdCQjnDW6vf4Gvn4gQkjauJ27d9qjv0uQXvS_aNQxz21m5sUnv28XJjW6_I/s1600/Roseanne+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLRIJzXfTZci7fsFZnm1DfR2QT24Booz0xhYDgn9CIgJcE1VcgQPVJtnldreJRUcpce7_tVT3fjckAqdjWOdCQjnDW6vf4Gvn4gQkjauJ27d9qjv0uQXvS_aNQxz21m5sUnv28XJjW6_I/s320/Roseanne+2.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> </span></o:p><i style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This is what the wise old chief of your tribe would look like</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">if he was married to John Goodman.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She has grey hair, which we all know means she has already
been through menopause, so we don’t have to worry about the phases of the moon influencing
her important decisions. She is past her child-breeding years, so no longer
needs hallucinogenic cosmetics to make herself attractive to catch a man. That
ship has sailed (probably to Cancun) and since she doesn’t have to worry about
what she looks like, she can now focus on whatever flavour-of-the-month is the
big problem in Africa. DONE.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, I’ve taken a picture of my vote to show you before I
send it back to Florida. Here it is!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6JCH5J_jbjTwP8PW7hlg-EqetIkCqep1Q2u6Lqy8w4HmAUBlZwV7xdZmCePNT8OO79BTNQK4GbaN0Zi1l4pXG0bH9PjkmRksWU6PpsTfDUD8Vk6BdXEaytmUSmJ1WDreLFfDJMsJrBc0/s1600/BarrSheehan2012+Roseanne+Barr+Vote+Ballot+Florida.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6JCH5J_jbjTwP8PW7hlg-EqetIkCqep1Q2u6Lqy8w4HmAUBlZwV7xdZmCePNT8OO79BTNQK4GbaN0Zi1l4pXG0bH9PjkmRksWU6PpsTfDUD8Vk6BdXEaytmUSmJ1WDreLFfDJMsJrBc0/s320/BarrSheehan2012+Roseanne+Barr+Vote+Ballot+Florida.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><v:shape id="Picture_x0020_1" o:spid="_x0000_i1027" style="height: 281.25pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 281.25pt;" type="#_x0000_t75">
<v:imagedata o:title="" src="file:///C:\Users\mjford\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image005.jpg">
</v:imagedata></v:shape><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">#GlitterVoting #BarrSheehan2012<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Woah woah woah woah WOAH. I’ve just been told that because I vote in
Florida, and it’s a swing state (which I had to explain to Jack is NOT what he
thought), I should not “waste” my vote on the funniest TV Mom of all time, even
though she’s awesome and bonkers and would be the first female president of any
country ever. Apparently third parties don’t have much of a real chance. This sucks. Why do I only get to choose
between two? When you go to the website where you illegally download your
music, do they say you can either download Taylor Swift OR Gangnam Style, but
if you want anything else just forget about it? I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN A
WORLD WHERE TAYLOR SWIFT AND GANGNAM STYLE ARE MY ONLY CHOICES. For those of you reading this in 1994, it’s
like only getting to choose between Sophie B. Hawkins and Los Del Rio.<i> Not good.</i> (Although if you’re in ‘94
that means Clinton is President and life will never get better, so you should
just shoot yourself now. Do you hear me, Kurt?)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Okay, so let me look at the “real” choices. First there is
Barack Obama. Friend to women, gays, and
Jews. I think we can all agree that is pretty much my demographic. But I do have some issues. This isn't the time or place to go into details, but me and his daughter Malia have some history and all I'm gonna say is that little brat should watch her back. Secondly, his wife wants to use her powers for
evil and euthanize fat kids rather than do something important, but I can
overlook that, because she is a woman, and as we have already learned that
means she is pretty erratic and useless anyway. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBA07iUt-7g9xN5UrFEeztpHpLoW1nc4uAIYus7cRf3rQUcaVSgU3Lv5LuQGAUMgaNIDWm9pG7v4ZOR4PvYvE8r6RGGPm2R271T-aaHTLZEmb4RP89-ZLO2IOTWQem6a6rjAR34GelUZQ/s1600/malia-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBA07iUt-7g9xN5UrFEeztpHpLoW1nc4uAIYus7cRf3rQUcaVSgU3Lv5LuQGAUMgaNIDWm9pG7v4ZOR4PvYvE8r6RGGPm2R271T-aaHTLZEmb4RP89-ZLO2IOTWQem6a6rjAR34GelUZQ/s320/malia-1.jpg" width="249" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>This is what smug looks like.</i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Next we have Romney. Mittens Romney hails from
Ancient Egypt. He wears his hair fashioned into a headdress, wants to bring
back slavery, and will order the slaughter of the first born son of every gay and/or woman in the land. Essentially, if you vote for Romney, no matter what
your reasoning is, it means you hate anyone who
is different than you and you think nobody deserves human equality**. Fair
enough, but I know which side of the parting of his carefully coiffed hairdo I fall on. (The left.
It’s the left side.)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
Regardless of your issues with Obama (or his snooty, know-it-all, "everyone-loves-me", "aren't-I-so-special" offspring), there is just no way to justify voting for someone who thinks the 1950's were better, simpler times. Listen, last month I went to the 1950's and it was terrible. Sure, everything was cheaper and males actually dressed like gentlemen instead of like the homeless, but most of it was downright disturbing. Black people and white people couldn't fornicate with each other and make hot biracial babies. Women were forced into motherhood/housewifery as their only life option. People thought Jews had horns. And worst of all, I couldn't find an homosexual to tell me how fierce I was ANYWHERE. When I said out loud that one day a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condoleezza_Rice" target="_blank">black gay woman would work in the White House</a>, they called me a witch and tried to stone me to death. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
That's the kind of world Mittens and his ilk want us to return to. But I have hope that in 50 years kids will look back at 2012 and compare everyone who voted Republican to that lady in <i>The Help</i> who forced her maid to go potty in the outhouse. Now we say, "Can you believe black people and white people couldn't drink from the same water fountain?" In the future they will say, "What's a water fountain? That sounds very unhygienic. Also, can you believe there was a movement where people ate chicken sandwiches to stop mommy from marrying mommy?" Racist grandpas will be replaced by homophobic grandpas, and teenage girls will dress up as zombie astronauts for Halloween instead of sex-trafficked refugees. That future can be a reality if you DON'T vote for Mittens Romney.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you <i>still </i>can’t decide, there is a little something
called a celebrity endorsement that can help. Let me break it down right here.
One of the candidates hangs out with Beyonce and Katy Perry. The other hangs out with Meatloaf. What do
YOU THINK? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><v:shape alt="Description: http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2012926/560.KatyPerry.MichelleObama.jc.102512.jpeg" id="Picture_x0020_5" o:spid="_x0000_i1026" style="height: 165.75pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 223.5pt;" type="#_x0000_t75">
<v:imagedata o:title="560.KatyPerry.MichelleObama.jc.102512" src="file:///C:\Users\mjford\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image006.jpg">
</v:imagedata></v:shape> </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsCrFsQc0e3HMYdajfantr12KTPN8fapLmjJBSfVTxf7csV9_-dsTXdd0FhKES9xRg9pViLMm2cG_0VjRqBH7FRyGQlQxL_l7Vi2LtTRIrxTqYTRr8x6I1MqcWObcsUNhoBL9WYR9_-wg/s1600/Katy+Perry+Michelle+Obama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsCrFsQc0e3HMYdajfantr12KTPN8fapLmjJBSfVTxf7csV9_-dsTXdd0FhKES9xRg9pViLMm2cG_0VjRqBH7FRyGQlQxL_l7Vi2LtTRIrxTqYTRr8x6I1MqcWObcsUNhoBL9WYR9_-wg/s320/Katy+Perry+Michelle+Obama.jpg" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikPt_SvA4WBLaB482vqYvQBX2c9JYeyYUyWSygrhfbGvkaymGOD7I99geDdaCv4LVhcW1Tl1HsqigNdAFNkbSQNb2A0Y3H2zhPg2xxYB9oAQOAMy517ne3ZaIcFJMHVYjeeEzPI6CfWgU/s1600/Beyonce+Obama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikPt_SvA4WBLaB482vqYvQBX2c9JYeyYUyWSygrhfbGvkaymGOD7I99geDdaCv4LVhcW1Tl1HsqigNdAFNkbSQNb2A0Y3H2zhPg2xxYB9oAQOAMy517ne3ZaIcFJMHVYjeeEzPI6CfWgU/s320/Beyonce+Obama.jpg" width="291" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The First Family Are Pop Stars<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/8H9idsLMfwc" width="560"></iframe>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Meatloaf is a drunk televangelist and his real name is Robert Paulson.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I guess this means I will have to get out my nail polish
remover and erase my vote for Roseanne. I do love her and hope that she
continues to be an activist and do stuff in politics. Or at least makes a show
about it. Because what’s the point of doing anything if nobody is watching you,
am I right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So I hope that answers your question. And now, 1,672 words and
a bit of soul searching later, I can officially add my name to the roster of
pop star celebrities endorsing Obama. It feels good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Have a Happy Election, kids. And remember, it doesn’t matter
who you vote for***, it just matters that you VOTE.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Love and Politics,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Pistol xoxo<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">*Here’s a little makeup tip I learned from a drag queen in
Vauxhall. Want to keep your makeup lasting all night long? Spray your hairspray
on your face! Facespray! It works! #Facespray2012<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">**Equality is a myth anyway, because none of us will ever
achieve the heights of the human super race that is both female and gay: the <a href="http://youtu.be/tAp9BKosZXs" target="_blank">lesbian</a>.
Have you ever met a female woman lesbian who was not <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rachel_Maddow" target="_blank">on the ball</a>? Who was not
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wanda_Sykes" target="_blank">cooler than you</a> and your <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_lynch" target="_blank">whole family</a>? Who didn't <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tig_Notaro" target="_blank">laugh in the face of adversity</a>? Who did not just <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lindsay_lohan" target="_blank">suck it up</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellen_Degeneres" target="_blank">get shit DONE</a>? If Obama was a lesbian this thing would be over already, is all I’m
saying. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">***It does matter. Vote for Barack Obama.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-51085435304719138132012-10-10T06:14:00.001-07:002012-10-10T06:18:53.341-07:00Everybody Tweets, Sometimes.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Hi Internet!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I’ve been racking on my head trying to figure out what to
write about this week. There is a lot
going on in the world at the moment. Is more stuff going on than usual? Is it all
important stuff? How do we know? There must have always been a lot happening,
but now we know more about it because of widespread media outlets like
Twitter. Twitter is super important,
because it is the voice of the people, and what people say on it matters, even
if they are a nobody and have no friends. Look at me, for example. I was among the majority of tweeters who
average 4 followers, all spam pornbots. You would think this would make my
tweets irrelevant, but if you type about something other people are interested
in and put a tic-tac-toe board in front of it, you suddenly get attention. All I have to do is write something about
#JustinBieber or #OneDirection and I will get a SLEW of responses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.millerfrost.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/JustinBieber-290x300.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.millerfrost.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/JustinBieber-290x300.png" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>If you tweet “#JustinBieber hates his fans”, </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>lots of people
will write back to you!</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It’s important to pick a good Twitter name, too. Unfortunately, @Pistol was already taken, and
because Twitter is a touch anti-Semitic, they won’t accept @PistolRubenstein as
a name because it has too many characters.
For a while I was using @PissDoll as my username, but I was getting some
rather unwanted attention from a certain gentleman in Japan (@MrNakamura, I’m
looking at you). Also, having only 4 fake people following me did nothing to help
my self-esteem/nightly crying time, so I took the account down. Now I just use our combined P&J account
(<a href="https://twitter.com/PistolAndJack" target="_blank">@PistolAndJack</a>), which only has a few hundred followers, most of whom are
there because Jack has a good way with threats, or because they think we are
the infamous Florida firearm superstore “Pistols of Jacksonville”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeoP6OaIp6LSFHJ4PeMjTuJ43Ef8gXkd8j7Zyp283bA8675ootolzIopl_PJekFwskL1VgQ63NryrEpMPCLrOfBFK4HxJfR5FSClY6jqzve9_Q_KpogcVt84YpXBY9i88nsTpvUbQHKJ4/s1600/bald_eagle_bird_MG0813.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeoP6OaIp6LSFHJ4PeMjTuJ43Ef8gXkd8j7Zyp283bA8675ootolzIopl_PJekFwskL1VgQ63NryrEpMPCLrOfBFK4HxJfR5FSClY6jqzve9_Q_KpogcVt84YpXBY9i88nsTpvUbQHKJ4/s320/bald_eagle_bird_MG0813.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>“Tweet Tweet”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Anyway, back to talking about what’s important in the world
and how Twitter knows. Occasionally Jack brings back a fish or a boy wrapped in
newspaper and I get to reading it. Journalists seem to no longer need to
interview people in person. Instead they
can just search on Twitter what “the public” feel about a certain subject and
use it in their article. I think this is a great idea, because the people on
Twitter and the intermatron in general are a fantastic sampling of the country
across the board. (By “the country” I mean the USA and UK, because honestly,
who cares about anyplace else.) What I’m saying is it makes sense to go to
Twitter for factual opinions rather than ask the person sitting next to you in
the bagel store you’re reading this in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://s0.geograph.org.uk/photos/38/63/386319_0da6fd07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://s0.geograph.org.uk/photos/38/63/386319_0da6fd07.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Where you are right now.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Twitter has a nifty feature called “Trends” which tells you
exactly what you should know about today. According to Twitter, these are the
most important things happening in the world:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Facebook, Twilight, Halloween,
Lil Wayne, Instagram, Obama<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Here are some examples of the intelligent discourse between
Tweeters on those trends:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT-gJ9S2xXIe9KTXLnEhzHLWiE90VxRwbWO1sotVoOlsJLQ8EVTFKBjajI1rpmVOfNxEeIwO1pEkCIj7-S2AYBI78DxaeiPEsZ0EwQcejh3ISmncSkJF5NTILSf-Tx8K2o1ibnUlAt6sw/s1600/tweet+about+fbook.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="97" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT-gJ9S2xXIe9KTXLnEhzHLWiE90VxRwbWO1sotVoOlsJLQ8EVTFKBjajI1rpmVOfNxEeIwO1pEkCIj7-S2AYBI78DxaeiPEsZ0EwQcejh3ISmncSkJF5NTILSf-Tx8K2o1ibnUlAt6sw/s320/tweet+about+fbook.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLfY9GG18tMl8XMb3NpzaWgBi3t9QhIAUK8Mce05QZhyphenhyphen3LoHsDBbd4I7_OQ5J2bK7OJCCVdzAOlIQKUuKUWK5msRv1jcVl848Dn6g1VPdPq5xMCVCzWg_v3sXH9rRb0ay0-lbUVc3z7Xo/s1600/tweet+about+twilight.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="103" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLfY9GG18tMl8XMb3NpzaWgBi3t9QhIAUK8Mce05QZhyphenhyphen3LoHsDBbd4I7_OQ5J2bK7OJCCVdzAOlIQKUuKUWK5msRv1jcVl848Dn6g1VPdPq5xMCVCzWg_v3sXH9rRb0ay0-lbUVc3z7Xo/s320/tweet+about+twilight.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ_EItOTEeJUfobeTY_DY1Z9tsdRQ2tgi2Co3h_UqTjb_egvX7pqYxfE_xvdD01wCLIdh7XeplfUIO-ssS9dgZW5SXxC2Ot52VRC0bSY8roLyPIm2oUdvO00VZDnaWR-QT9FLMEaDlILA/s1600/tweet+about+halloween.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="114" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ_EItOTEeJUfobeTY_DY1Z9tsdRQ2tgi2Co3h_UqTjb_egvX7pqYxfE_xvdD01wCLIdh7XeplfUIO-ssS9dgZW5SXxC2Ot52VRC0bSY8roLyPIm2oUdvO00VZDnaWR-QT9FLMEaDlILA/s320/tweet+about+halloween.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN-B-lDGTzPCi7PZ9pqW28xLqtYVOhui98l9VqbrW5lFfj1aEUVUCavmE38bP8xflCSlItvLdzFkyl1_jb14WiiN-fLRKQx3torpzAJIFdEt3hy-uuvmBUwWJe0zBVw0mxSTklv_jh2mE/s1600/tweet+about+lil+wayne.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="87" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN-B-lDGTzPCi7PZ9pqW28xLqtYVOhui98l9VqbrW5lFfj1aEUVUCavmE38bP8xflCSlItvLdzFkyl1_jb14WiiN-fLRKQx3torpzAJIFdEt3hy-uuvmBUwWJe0zBVw0mxSTklv_jh2mE/s320/tweet+about+lil+wayne.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHV3jPPEAxCjrRXOjPt2yJ-3o-VTT7xKjldnnnwpTxhGsNYdpO974HDOEOX_zY57iqfRHrTwNrtu-OIPyukBXFpiyV9YozIwad-v0JjH-sveb3bJHbjDBcCfNiP5fybcslYH-L8t1OQpQ/s1600/tweet+about+instagram.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHV3jPPEAxCjrRXOjPt2yJ-3o-VTT7xKjldnnnwpTxhGsNYdpO974HDOEOX_zY57iqfRHrTwNrtu-OIPyukBXFpiyV9YozIwad-v0JjH-sveb3bJHbjDBcCfNiP5fybcslYH-L8t1OQpQ/s320/tweet+about+instagram.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHa4UpDH72LI6A_OBnIVT0BQ3H8jo0Dg8iWVQWX6WsgGIw-eJiEdfKAgCvQGD3te4U9QOJgCxskzShlUv2bqNNycbjGwJ_7t3kPVplPi6Lf7uqkBGmwb_OO4cgLFbUWTqXiShCXXKUlOg/s1600/tweet+about+obama.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="115" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHa4UpDH72LI6A_OBnIVT0BQ3H8jo0Dg8iWVQWX6WsgGIw-eJiEdfKAgCvQGD3te4U9QOJgCxskzShlUv2bqNNycbjGwJ_7t3kPVplPi6Lf7uqkBGmwb_OO4cgLFbUWTqXiShCXXKUlOg/s320/tweet+about+obama.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">To maximise popularity, I tweeted about all of them in one.
(I left out Obama, because I don’t want him to read it and think I like
Twilight. #IHateTwilight.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYTFRVxt4EUcV66DWQw509dewz7B39KlMP25xmeQyWYFok7KkmSnHa9RQIaVVuaXVWQv91IsDmKj-2KWibDpyExgySgzghhH2KmGQchOWUHKiwEDzaWVwd9972_9TZ40HC2NRhGLIWGHE/s1600/Tweet+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYTFRVxt4EUcV66DWQw509dewz7B39KlMP25xmeQyWYFok7KkmSnHa9RQIaVVuaXVWQv91IsDmKj-2KWibDpyExgySgzghhH2KmGQchOWUHKiwEDzaWVwd9972_9TZ40HC2NRhGLIWGHE/s400/Tweet+1.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://distilleryimage10.s3.amazonaws.com/2d1b225e9b8b11e19dc71231380fe523_6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://distilleryimage10.s3.amazonaws.com/2d1b225e9b8b11e19dc71231380fe523_6.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This is what that
would look like.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There are also trends that are for people to share their
shared experiences. It's good to write very general things that everyone can relate to so they like you more. Today’s are #EveryFamilyHas and #FamousRejectionLines.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Here are my contributions:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLZzeyP6FKSU50pXhVx3rJKmQoUWNCtCJML7ovTtCyIklixE-0aOTgVa8_3ejWk2lXO9Kp4UqbNhZr2QI2mmUC9gW8nRhCCoS-i_wxRhGEoIGVc6YYfAYL-6wZRhpKAsQtXiYj3iH89R4/s1600/Tweet+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLZzeyP6FKSU50pXhVx3rJKmQoUWNCtCJML7ovTtCyIklixE-0aOTgVa8_3ejWk2lXO9Kp4UqbNhZr2QI2mmUC9gW8nRhCCoS-i_wxRhGEoIGVc6YYfAYL-6wZRhpKAsQtXiYj3iH89R4/s400/Tweet+2.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiz9ZTehZDmW6WxP7lDRCUZEjwrks6RKe8apWyqYX_8RKP5FvVvNXsv7EtLW0XyfK9gEvwxqPYXkEipqm-rsKG6D0G-FqZ3zf8mNBju2h4fZh1b5WFAHZy3i4x4VGn209hYIu1UV2h3rw/s1600/Tweet+3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiz9ZTehZDmW6WxP7lDRCUZEjwrks6RKe8apWyqYX_8RKP5FvVvNXsv7EtLW0XyfK9gEvwxqPYXkEipqm-rsKG6D0G-FqZ3zf8mNBju2h4fZh1b5WFAHZy3i4x4VGn209hYIu1UV2h3rw/s400/Tweet+3.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And there you have it, Internet! A little guide from me to you on how to use Twitter to teach you about what's popular in the world and how to tweet about it to get attention. Another quick tip? If you're going to a fancy party and want to impress the other people there, quickly look at the Twitter trends first. It will give you plenty of topics to bring up so you sound smart and in touch with the world, as well as fabulous ideas for shared experience conversations.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">On my next blog, I will be answering questions from YOU the reader, so please tweet me your questions at <a href="https://twitter.com/pistolandjack" target="_blank">@PistolAndJack</a> or write them on our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/PistolAndJack" target="_blank">Facebook </a>wall or e-mail them to me at <a href="mailto:info@pistolandjack.com">info@pistolandjack.com</a> or message/tag/poke/post me on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/PistolandJack1" target="_blank">private Facebook account</a> or comment on <a href="http://pistolandjack.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/everybody-tweets-sometimes.html" target="_blank">this blog</a> or text me on <a href="http://maxclifford.com/contact-us/" target="_blank">+44-207-408-2350</a> or sneak into <a href="http://www.g-a-y.co.uk/g-a-y-late/where-is-g-a-y-late" target="_blank">my home</a> and write it on the mirror in red lipstick. I'm here for the fans and will be accessible as much as possible or as little as I want.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I love you so much it hurts when I breathe,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Pistol R.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-9857034926648846272012-09-24T07:13:00.000-07:002012-09-24T07:13:36.933-07:00The Future Will Be Here Soon<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Hey lobsters, it’s Pistol.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I am SO SORRY that I haven’t blogged you in like, six
months. Trust me, I did not abandon you
intentionally. I’ve kinda been out of
the country. It’s a long story that
begins with me blogging about Lindsay Lohan being an awesome female lesbian
role model, middles with a guy whose name rhymes with Bladimir Futin finding our
blog by an errant Google search, and ends with me in a glass cage in Moscow wearing
a pastel baklava. For the moment that is
all I’m legally allowed to divulge. Trust me, the less you know, the less
likely you are of being kidnapped and forced to eat perogies. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiielXqHoXQ0TVfcUWT81ybWvqbREK6EuqtarCmKChS08eAEicFoOS5sn4it4OWNR7L8Ys9-RIOozp8strpt_v4___f8S0BdKgPCr0ZMyQtJKrCOXxwGKVYnwn0nn9T1SOG_6QK3Q2JjIg/s1600/priot.jpeg-460x307.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiielXqHoXQ0TVfcUWT81ybWvqbREK6EuqtarCmKChS08eAEicFoOS5sn4it4OWNR7L8Ys9-RIOozp8strpt_v4___f8S0BdKgPCr0ZMyQtJKrCOXxwGKVYnwn0nn9T1SOG_6QK3Q2JjIg/s1600/priot.jpeg-460x307.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Me in Moscow. </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It was so cold, I had to wear this to keep my face from freezing off. </span></i></div>
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvwVmCymJK-7mBcP1CPIsu4T9GoIiXfnEgj6txkmf8l7yA40eKdJSa3-OK7RbLYYR2xrB8BTEUHN9T7-6tiAP0EwYSi4OOtmE2i_SXfBBD7X-r1lGtnfEdRSxvtucEFb-yWXALXPS8nWU/s1600/pergoies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvwVmCymJK-7mBcP1CPIsu4T9GoIiXfnEgj6txkmf8l7yA40eKdJSa3-OK7RbLYYR2xrB8BTEUHN9T7-6tiAP0EwYSi4OOtmE2i_SXfBBD7X-r1lGtnfEdRSxvtucEFb-yWXALXPS8nWU/s320/pergoies.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Perogies.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">In July, I was briefly released from my cage to perform at the Secret
Gardening Society Festival in Cambridgeshire. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I don’t understand how they manage to get any
gardening done in all that mud. I’m not sure which was worse, losing my tent in
a muddy marsh of drug-fuelled teenagers wearing nothing but glitterpaint, or
being wrongfully imprisoned by Soviets. I think the fact that I willingly paid
for my own flight back to Russia answers that question.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Some festival pics I took with my iPhucker:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTPzM1nP1S9CFP6zYPyL-L5wbXiQtzXEVOMLJOr2syp1ggw82Fys4NWnKYgNu7KD01A3WCjku3BlIAzJEbbAILTbfRP5uFDRyS73AihK8cNkHSUf4zKe7fo0VJcehme_1W993JGzVsews/s1600/sgpmud.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTPzM1nP1S9CFP6zYPyL-L5wbXiQtzXEVOMLJOr2syp1ggw82Fys4NWnKYgNu7KD01A3WCjku3BlIAzJEbbAILTbfRP5uFDRyS73AihK8cNkHSUf4zKe7fo0VJcehme_1W993JGzVsews/s400/sgpmud.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The stage we performed on floating in some mud.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkb2cOH8ZsSxCbNtADOtwCw4GX92LVVEQJihyjga93KjGeCYLkvzcpp_HqsRD0Z2NIGkAM58If1YKzSZ2WWrWPEQ_3RS9M6Q8dbKe7zgOworUFAHIwwAQbgR2cWVVGifHa1tdfj4IGCag/s1600/sgpus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkb2cOH8ZsSxCbNtADOtwCw4GX92LVVEQJihyjga93KjGeCYLkvzcpp_HqsRD0Z2NIGkAM58If1YKzSZ2WWrWPEQ_3RS9M6Q8dbKe7zgOworUFAHIwwAQbgR2cWVVGifHa1tdfj4IGCag/s320/sgpus.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> </span></o:p><i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Us performing for the mudpeople.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcmZqMu3eQiGqMhSfnFx89pbJUH5XU86-FIKIDkKVtU_FntWUHtBUl_FBNBcpjksRXpVwqLRdRlhlZgE7fY2vKAwdgiDlE067r_hhw4XodiiDfZdjn85gPWs6GWFgxOhJ4l91pFKueVAY/s1600/neverending.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcmZqMu3eQiGqMhSfnFx89pbJUH5XU86-FIKIDkKVtU_FntWUHtBUl_FBNBcpjksRXpVwqLRdRlhlZgE7fY2vKAwdgiDlE067r_hhw4XodiiDfZdjn85gPWs6GWFgxOhJ4l91pFKueVAY/s320/neverending.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This kid lost his
horse in the mud at the festival. It sucked. </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But at least the burrito van had
delicious guac. </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The good news is I am BACK in the UK.
And you know what? Jack didn’t even NOTICE I was gone. I had a whole
apology planned for my return, complete with a slowed down, heartfelt, acoustic
version of “Call Me Maybe” that I was going to perform for him. I walked into
the bedsit, expecting a tirade of tears and anger from my long-time creative
partner who I presumed had been in deep mourning due to my absence. After I eventually got him to wake up, I was merely
greeted with a “Where’d Santa go?” and a “Someone threw up in your sleeping
bag. It wasn’t me.” Whew! He had been
blacked out since Christmas and didn’t even realize I’d been away! It’s times
like that you have to thank the Lord Gaga Above for inventing barbiturates and
Southern Comfort.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, “what is next for the band now that Pistol is back and Jack is lucid?”, I
hear you cry. First of all, suck it up
and stop crying. I’m back and you no longer have a reason to be sad. Secondly, to answer your query, we are
exploring other forms of media beyond the live stage. This includes a reality show web series for
your eyeholes and a podcast for your earholes.
To experience our magic you will no longer have to be burdened with leaving
your house and travelling to a venue that serves alcohol and is packed with
human beings. Get your P&J fix on the solo, and share it with your virtual
friends virtually. It is the future, after all. Or at least it will be once we can figure out how to press record.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I will blog you again soon to tell you more of my adventures and correct
opinions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Much love,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Pistol Rubenstein-Obama</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-10039335657859845462012-03-09T08:53:00.000-08:002012-09-20T08:51:10.971-07:00Girls, We Run This Mother<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As all of you know by now, yesterday was <a href="http://www.internationalwomensday.com/">International Women’s Day</a>. I still don’t understand why we need a special day to single out our achievements when we’re pretty much awesome all the time, but I’ve never been one to turn down extra attention. In honour of the day, I’d like to post a tribute to the female women who have inspired me to be the strong, talented, and amazing person I am. And let’s hope that in the near future the idea of female achievement won’t be remarkable or exceptional, but as boring and commonplace as douchebaggy bus drivers and hangovers on Sunday mornings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Pistol’s Top Ten Awesome Girls Who Run The World<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">1. <a href="http://youtu.be/AWpsOqh8q0M">Beyonce Knowles-Z</a><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My dear friend and life twin. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Because she wrote the song about it. </span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">(This also counts towards my weekly music video posting.)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://1.gvt0.com/vi/VBmMU_iwe6U/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VBmMU_iwe6U&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VBmMU_iwe6U&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">2. <a href="http://youtu.be/Fq0rF0kfrXA">Bette Midler</a><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As a child, I wrote her several letters asking if she would be my mom. I found them years later hidden in a box in my real mom’s closet. I still wonder to this day what could have been if they’d been sent.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<img height="275" src="http://www.crystalphotos.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/bette-midler.jpg" width="400" /> </div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">3. <a href="http://nymag.com/arts/tv/upfronts/2011/roseanne-barr-2011-5/">Roseanne</a><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">She makes me laugh and is smart and crap.<br />
PS How cool does she look in this black and white photo?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<img height="249" src="http://www.jackizehner.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/roseanne.jpg" width="400" /> </div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>4. <a href="http://youtu.be/KUWpd91UBrA">Sophia Grace Brownlee</a></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Because you don’t have to be big or tall or over the age of 9 to show the world that women rock it. And also because she proves that it’s important to keep your gal pals by your side on your ride to the top.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/C7hTAp6KrGY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">5. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bella_Abzug">Bella Abzug</a><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The first Jewish Congresswoman and a fierce leader in the hat-as-fashion-statement movement. </span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What’s not to like?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<img src="http://92nd-congress.wikispaces.com/file/view/bella_abzug%5B1%5D.jpg/114128239/bella_abzug%5B1%5D.jpg" /> </div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">6. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEuKVgIkcMc">Lindsay Lohan</a><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">For coming out of the closet and showing the world that female women lesbians like her are not the perfect princesses we think they are and are just as flawed as the rest of us.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<img height="400" src="http://www.superphotospace.com/images/thumb/lindsay-lohan-mug-shot01_4c472bf75fb59-t.jpg" width="307" /> </div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">7. <a href="http://dixielongate.com/party.html">Dixie Longate</a><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A working single mom who started out selling Tupperware to middle class housewives and now travels the world telling her inspirational story and making bank selling “the best plastic crap on the planet.” Australian fans can catch her at the Melbourne Comedy Festival this year, and I will post news soon about her London run!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<img height="400" src="http://www.watertowertheatre.org/uploads/m_813430DIXIE%206.jpg" width="400" /> </div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">8. <a href="http://www.whitehouse.gov/administration/first-lady-michelle-obama">Michelle Obama</a><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Because she came in and said “Women in politics don’t have to wear pastel pants-suits! Let’s wear dresses and still kick ass!” She also does some issue/policy stuff to <a href="http://www.letsmove.gov/">stop kids from getting fat/bullied</a>. (Check her out in the blue shiny Pistol colours!)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<img height="320" src="http://c580019.r19.cf2.rackcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/michelle-obama-state-dinner-dress.jpg" width="156" /><img height="320" src="http://uptownmagazine.com/files/2012/01/michelle-obama-300x400.jpg" width="240" /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">9. <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908/">Rachel Maddow</a><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I just feel like we could be friends.</span></i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://static5.businessinsider.com/image/477a6c79ad3ef849972cd700/rachel-maddow-tbi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="http://static5.businessinsider.com/image/477a6c79ad3ef849972cd700/rachel-maddow-tbi.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And finally...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">10. My dad, Bruce Rubenstein<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>For raising me to be an awesome woman. I love you, daddy. Wherever you are.</i></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<img height="125" src="http://cdn.walyou.com/wp-content/uploads//2010/12/facebook-profile-picture-no-pic-avatar.jpg" width="200" /> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Love, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Pistol xoxo<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">P.S. I’m sorry this list is made up mainly of entertainers/people on TV. I don’t really care for newspapers, but I am aware that there are women out there who’ve done much more important things. I just don’t know who they are. But <a href="http://youtu.be/S5pM1fW6hNs">blame the internet and television for not telling me/representing them</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">P.P.S. Noticeably absent from my list? Angelina Jolie’s right leg. Even though I am and will always be Team Jen, it’s important to point out that it wasn't a leg that became a UN ambassador, wrote and directed a foreign language film about the Bosnian war, created several charitable organizations, </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">helped raise the profile of causes for</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> poor and oppressed people in third world nations, and adopted the entire cast of Lost</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">. So stop talking about her damn leg. It’s an insult to these women when people focus on their physical appearances and the frivolous aspects of their lives rather than the content of their <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angelina_Jolie#Humanitarian_work">achievements</a>. That’s why I am content free and only worry about looking sparkly and singing fun pop songs – so there’s no confusion as to what kind of message I’m putting across.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<img height="123" src="http://froyonation.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/angelina-jolie-oscars-legs.jpg" width="200" /> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I made this photo small to show you how unimportant it is.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-84576857867793427332012-02-24T04:54:00.000-08:002012-02-24T04:54:11.811-08:00I'm Here. I'm Bi-Weekly. Get Used To It.<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I’m back! I’m going to TRY and keep this blog thing up bi-weekly. Bi-weekly means I like both weeks equally. To me it’s not about labels, it’s about who the week is on the inside. And if I want to experiment and try posting this in another week, there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t discriminate between weeks, okay?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I’m going to start out with a question for the techie geeks in the house...</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
<b>How does YouTube know I’m Jewish?</b></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Our sound technician and house elf, Kev, says it’s because Big Brother is watching. This makes no sense. I am an only child, so I’m nobody’s little sister. Unless he means his big brother, and why would Kev’s brother care what I do? </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjae_GC0bOBlGaIDYJEAiVJRGG7-96Y5ra1S4dsBf7YoELU3VZiA7QdFUPosFL9OBpY7eTIpWAJhhJ-mH826sN2KHMf34CocML5zieazcKvO4Xb6437H92_U6U-36wSrnj3tgnZmAwAu9U/s1600/kev.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjae_GC0bOBlGaIDYJEAiVJRGG7-96Y5ra1S4dsBf7YoELU3VZiA7QdFUPosFL9OBpY7eTIpWAJhhJ-mH826sN2KHMf34CocML5zieazcKvO4Xb6437H92_U6U-36wSrnj3tgnZmAwAu9U/s320/kev.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #222222;">This is a picture of Kev having his hair smelled by a person. </span></i></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #222222;">Perhaps his big brother?</span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I mean, I know that since Al Quesadilla became a big deal and Dick Cheney freaked out about it, everything we type into the intermatron is a permanent record. But I never really search or talk about my Jewessness, partly because I’m wary of the anti-septics. However, every time I go on YouTube, whether I’m at home or one of those free computers people leave sitting out at Starbucks, whether I’m watching it through a facebook embedment, or on the YouTube itself, I get this same ad: </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><u><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Preserve Jewish Culture</span></u></b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The next Jewish generation matters. Donate now. If not now, when?</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://www.jewishla.org/JewishFuture" target="_blank"><span style="color: #1155cc;">www.JewishLA.org/JewishFuture</span></a> <wbr></wbr> Ads by Google</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">WHY? Besides searching the tube for old videos of my all-girl all-Jewish pop group, The Jewels, I have done nothing to indicate I would donate to the Jews. Also, computers should be smart enough to know I live in London and not Los Angeles. I’m so confused! If somebody could please explain it to me, I would be grateful.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Anyway, I promised in the last post that I would talk about that dark time in my life after The Jewels broke up. I was living in Orlando with my dad and manager, Bruce Rubenstein. Oh, and my mom, but she was always doing boring things like “working” and “providing for the family with her career”. With nobody to stand behind me and sing, I decided to return to my early roots at Disney. (When I was a kid I auditioned for the Mickey Mouse Club at the same time as Britney!) The only role available was not so much a musical one, as a “put on this heavy mouse suit and sweat in Florida humidity for nine hours a day” kinda role. I was stationed at Epcot, the park that nobody goes to because it’s educational. </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw-1Sh5nUHlvBCFNxPWeelY9U5liEc-9h5wd0aUgdkhlHvk5D-95GTTx9zVMJjRbLyadWnfFfe2n4EYdZUnyQa0aRhp53CQAxJtDvptm2q73aELRBtwps6CqLG4uXd7W6Y9ErmrPR4GGw/s1600/epcot_Village_Orlando.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw-1Sh5nUHlvBCFNxPWeelY9U5liEc-9h5wd0aUgdkhlHvk5D-95GTTx9zVMJjRbLyadWnfFfe2n4EYdZUnyQa0aRhp53CQAxJtDvptm2q73aELRBtwps6CqLG4uXd7W6Y9ErmrPR4GGw/s400/epcot_Village_Orlando.jpg" width="400px" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">S</span></span><i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">ome random kids from the internet in front of Epcot UK.</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Epcot is kind of a bigger version of the It’s A Small World ride, where you get to visit different countries. There’s a Little Germany, a Little China, Japan, Italy, etc. Epcot is where I first discovered my Anglephiliac tendencies towards Great Britain, at the Rose & Crown Pub. You see, when your back-up singers desert you for the bright lights and success of the greater New Jersey Jewish Community and Minnie Mouse is the only performing job you can get in the State, a cool pint of lager is exactly what you need to brighten your spirits/drown your sorrows. It’s there that I learned that "chips" means French Fries and that "bangers" is not prison slang for rapists. I drank A LOT in that pub, and could often be spotted there on my break. Ugh, and then the ONE time that I was too tired to change out of my costume between shifts, some little brat got a bunch of pictures of Minnie doing a keg stand and offering to take her top off in exchange for an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_Car_Bomb">Irish car bomb </a>(they don’t have a Little Ireland so had to consolidate I guess?) Needless to say, Michael Eisner was NOT impressed with my behaviour and I was swiftly fired.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJTA8-yTtugdmDonjukQDd2q2m4xwYb6mIvP6vNgXBBfG1UeAm1xalU2hV3euSCjHtfIjSvuNbh1lyH5UsssCeOQItxDWyA6b9by9u7tjpCQeqsuGNyMWjIvYN3Ne5RzkXMYvHBb35xxI/s1600/WhoopiGoldberg121909.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJTA8-yTtugdmDonjukQDd2q2m4xwYb6mIvP6vNgXBBfG1UeAm1xalU2hV3euSCjHtfIjSvuNbh1lyH5UsssCeOQItxDWyA6b9by9u7tjpCQeqsuGNyMWjIvYN3Ne5RzkXMYvHBb35xxI/s400/WhoopiGoldberg121909.jpg" width="263px" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #222222;">Me and My Dad at Disney</span></i><span style="color: #222222;"></span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #222222;"><br />
</span></i></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #222222;"><br />
</span></i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq4etgfqTOdqrNYcx4Ya4PlT-ZU-Uc08wBoyE4M1cg6TuZw1om5AIaOF9MheZ8Jm2u2dyI9odEf8had02B5Tv6wNGYxpUHOHjB7qasTexl9a_HMcg5yjZBid73wj-JJbq7VAgf4aW65BI/s1600/minnie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq4etgfqTOdqrNYcx4Ya4PlT-ZU-Uc08wBoyE4M1cg6TuZw1om5AIaOF9MheZ8Jm2u2dyI9odEf8had02B5Tv6wNGYxpUHOHjB7qasTexl9a_HMcg5yjZBid73wj-JJbq7VAgf4aW65BI/s320/minnie.jpg" width="242px" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #222222;">Hitting Rock Bottom</span></i><span style="color: #222222;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">But my love for all things British never waned, and every day at 4pm I would sit at home and have English tea parties with my Lady Gaga doll, a life-sized cut-out of Elvis (a left over novelty from my Bat Mitzvah party) and my dad, Bruce Rubenstein. But I tired of cucumber sandwiches and scones on my own, and longed to find others who shared my passion. One day at Publix (our local grocery store) I saw an ad calling for new members to join a society called The Tea Party. How perfect! A whole group of like-minded souls! I turned up dressed as Princess Di on her wedding day, ready to devour jam and crumpets and debate the virtues of Mr Darcy versus Mr Wickham. But nobody else was in costume, and instead of tea and biscuits they served Orange Fanta and saltine crackers. I was very confused, but I stuck with them, because, who was I to turn down new friends? As it turns out, their Tea Party is a <i>political organisation </i>named after the first time the Americans sat down with the Native American Indians and drank British tea in Boston. And <i>that</i>, dear reader, is how I came to be the campaign manager for Sarah Palin’s mayoral election in Wassilla, Alaska.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtpWGZaq42YaWn8bc7gdHvRiVHLRNMJvxUxIvJVzwph_w4BEbiU2dtxD8D3zE5rwDBKCDEyHCzviqtlRzP0s8KTbdWuvIM3zHSawqT6QNEb8TE0SmRim1DQ5x8RW7upE9ZcsjJpgjhulM/s1600/sarah-palin-feb-25-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtpWGZaq42YaWn8bc7gdHvRiVHLRNMJvxUxIvJVzwph_w4BEbiU2dtxD8D3zE5rwDBKCDEyHCzviqtlRzP0s8KTbdWuvIM3zHSawqT6QNEb8TE0SmRim1DQ5x8RW7upE9ZcsjJpgjhulM/s320/sarah-palin-feb-25-1.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>A pitbull wearing lipstick on her face.</i></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">I will leave you, as promised, with a music related video posting. Rebecca Black is a modern day icon for the e-generation. She is famous because of the intermatron, and even though her initial reviews were negative, she came back fighting and now has a fully blown pop career and several amazing singles and music videos. Annoyingly, Kev (see above) who is NOT a fan of her work, has found a way to block all Rebecca Black videos from playing on any computer in our bedsit, so instead you will have to deal with her brilliant cameo in Katy Perry's <b>Last Friday Night (TGIF)</b> video. (I won't even start on Katy Perry, because I could write an Encyclopaedic novella on how awesome she is and you probs don't have the time for that, because you're very busy at your job saving sick people and/or typing down numbers for the men.)</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/KlyXNRrsk4A?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Until next time. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Much love,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Miss Pistol Rubenstein of Orlando, Florida, USA</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-81234848690612207072012-02-10T05:16:00.000-08:002012-02-10T16:12:44.111-08:00K-Pop is the new Black (pop) and other things you should know by now<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Hi guys,</span><br />
<div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Sorry I didn't blog you last week. Dry your eyes though, I'm back with more fabulous things to tell you that will blow your brains out.</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This week, I took someone's cocktail suggestion and made a White Russian. This is a drink comprised of coffee liqueur (Kahlua or Tia Maria), vodka, and milk. It is delicious. If your kids are difficult and complain about the taste of the drinks you give them, try a White Russian. It will trick them into loving alcohol. #PistolsParentingTips. It is the favourite drink of that dude in the classic sports film The Big Lebwoski. Apparently the more you like this movie, the cooler a person you are. I have never seen it, but an ex-boyf once said that I reminded him of Julianne Moore in this film. This <i>direct </i>association with the film makes me extra cool and she's so channelling Lady Gaga in this photo I Googled, so I assume he means I am a super cool pop icon.</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZdmCss4yLy6nOMM44-vbUOUG1LP9A3moEzwn6NdSFLhceBmZsTgiMB0W1hw8e2JFt6G57d-YRmvd9TN293kYV62cgGx3uV-REYJa25RDijJX0GZ8a2LpF8RPLKtZvsaX4P7p4jdwt2UA/s1600/big-lebowski-1998-julianne-moore-pic-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZdmCss4yLy6nOMM44-vbUOUG1LP9A3moEzwn6NdSFLhceBmZsTgiMB0W1hw8e2JFt6G57d-YRmvd9TN293kYV62cgGx3uV-REYJa25RDijJX0GZ8a2LpF8RPLKtZvsaX4P7p4jdwt2UA/s1600/big-lebowski-1998-julianne-moore-pic-5.jpg" /></span></a></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Recently, we decided that it's about time Jack have a birthday, so we picked a day and I cooked him a cake. I used my leftover cocktail and poured it in the batter. It's amaze. Here's a pic and <a href="http://www.melskitchencafe.com/2010/09/the-best-chocolate-cake.html" target="_blank">a link to the recipe</a>. It kinda tastes like an Oreo. (In my adaptation I substituted 1 1/4 cups of water for 1/4 cup of vodka, 1/2 cup of Tia Maria, and 1/2 cup of coffee, trust me you'll love it.) Also, the butter frosting is an INTENSE experience, kind of how I imagine making love to a vampire would be (a REAL one like Dracula or Lestat or Nosferatu, not those ridiculous fictional sparkly ones.) The recipe for the frosting <a href="http://www.melskitchencafe.com/2010/09/the-best-frosting-ever.html" target="_blank">is here</a>.</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPHXbQKn6djPF4OL4E0rQpxkJLl8s2dq8u3UODdJZklsS5Dt0AGQK1z0evg45s9JdUGwf6tbQGZ7XImOoxRkn2SmIgB-MPe6w-zWjVPvcG5BEyGglTaNruUGLGSK9kiDSqVABKkWO27D8/s1600/IMG_1589.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPHXbQKn6djPF4OL4E0rQpxkJLl8s2dq8u3UODdJZklsS5Dt0AGQK1z0evg45s9JdUGwf6tbQGZ7XImOoxRkn2SmIgB-MPe6w-zWjVPvcG5BEyGglTaNruUGLGSK9kiDSqVABKkWO27D8/s400/IMG_1589.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>Aren't you impressed with my cooking skills?</i></span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Since we are a music group, and my last video posting was such a hit, I've decided to bring you a new fave of mine in each blog. This week, it's Girl's Generation, a 9 piece girl group from South Korea. This song is awesome (ignore the intro with the stupid dove), especially when they break it down Pistol style at 3:30. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Korean Pop (or K-Pop) is like Hello Kitty for adults = fun, trendy, and Japanese. There's another K-Pop girl group called 2NE1 you can also check out. Girls Generation and 2NE1 are like N Sync vs Backstreet Boys or Coldplay vs Radiohead vs Elbow. From afar they all sound different, but up close they look just the same. K-Popstars are recruited and <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/korearealtime/2012/02/07/can-girls%E2%80%99-generation-break-through-in-america/" target="_blank">go to special schools</a> from the time they are little and train in acting, dancing, and singing. It's kinda like Hogwarts, but they use their wands for chopsticks and instead of Quidditch they have eating disorders. (There is even a girl who moans and cries in the bathroom all the time, but she's not a ghost, she is just bulimic.)</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/YFbyh0wzTS0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Watching Girls Generation reminds me of my days in The Jewels, the all-girl, all-Jewish pop group which was my first big break into the music business. J-Pop never took off in the way that K-Pop has. (Mainly because the Japanese got to that term first, so it means something else.) The Jewels toured the nursing homes and synagogues of South Florida to much acclaim, but whilst I always remained the lead, the back-up spots were cursed with an ever changing line-up. (Yet ANOTHER thing I have in common with Beyonce Knowles.) Then, in Hannukah of '89, the Jewels ended tragically when the remaining girls (I will edit their names to protect their anonymity, so will type them as Jam*e L*ppman and Em*ly Garf*nkel) quit and formed their own band. They would later go on to headline the B'Nai Shalom North Eastern Sukkot Conference. It was a big blow for me and what followed was a dark time in my life that I don't want to talk about... Okay, I totally wanna talk about it, but if Facebook has taught me anything, it's that if you really want people to give you attention and listen to what you say, you should be vague, dramatic, and withholding of important details. So, for now I'll dangle that carrot and fill you in on my post-Jewels/pre-Jack days in the next blog! </span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Until then, when I will tell you how to get fired from Disney and run a political campaign... (CARROTS.)</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Ciao!</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Love,</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Pistol xoxo</span></div><div style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-69069570627486169382012-01-21T05:06:00.000-08:002012-01-21T05:06:55.873-08:00Pistol Has Things To Say Too Dammit<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Dear fans and stalkers,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I am very excited to write to you directly. I’m so nervous about my first blog, I had to make a cocktail to get me going. A while ago one of the bars we were playing created a cocktail in our honour called the Pistol & Jack. The Pistol was champagne, because I’m classy, and expensive, and the cork shoots off like a pistol. The Jack was Jack Daniels. Because Jack doesn’t have much imagination. They dropped in a sugar cube with some sort of syrupy stuff drizzled on top, and then poured in the booze. It’s actually bubbly, delicious, and gets you fucked up really fast. Just like the real Pistol & Jack.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We don’t have any of that stuff here, so I’m making a budget version with Red Bull and Glenfidditch. For my readers outside of the UK, Glenfidditch is a Scotch whiskey, and they pronounce the ‘ditch’ as ‘dick.’ I KNOW. Even though I’m drinking out of a champagne glass, this budget version of a Pistol & Jack is totally gross. But it’s getting the job done. Kind of how I imagine a tribute act to us would be. There were some folks back in the early 00’s who attempted to create a tribute act to us, called Rifle & Smack. They were very unsuccessful, mainly because nobody had heard of us back then, so the references were totally lost. They abandoned the idea after a few gigs, changed their name to The White Stripes, and starting writing original stuff. And look at them now. Their band is not even together anymore and we are STILL gigging. Just goes to show you.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Cocktails on a Budget</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwaP2klZ94QCwzt7VmMaoNtQHrcD5Kjf3Ruy-8919nfrywAk10Zo84g9Vl5ZpKKaTRlSydIVUIJjrqTtPPsz5WWi4JXlJJdH7gWuZMTVVr-ssEF3U0m1Jyamfr9Jn8wXpojZUtf279_CI/s1600/IMG_1569.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwaP2klZ94QCwzt7VmMaoNtQHrcD5Kjf3Ruy-8919nfrywAk10Zo84g9Vl5ZpKKaTRlSydIVUIJjrqTtPPsz5WWi4JXlJJdH7gWuZMTVVr-ssEF3U0m1Jyamfr9Jn8wXpojZUtf279_CI/s320/IMG_1569.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As I write this, Beyonce’s gramma, Etta James, has just died. Everyone is very sad, and I know this because they’ve said so on Twitter and Facebook, and I’m sure if I was into watching the news, it would be on there, too. I found some of Etta’s music on the intermatron and am listening to it now. She’s totally rocking it, and even though I only knew like two of her songs before, I am now suddenly feeling very sad about her death. It’s only fitting that I should leave a tribute to her, so here’s my favourite of her songs. They don’t have any videos of her singing it herself, and I can’t find the one of Beyonce singing it either, so instead I’ll post Rachel Crowe singing it on X Factor a few minutes before she falls on the ground weeping because she lost. I actually think Rachel’s version is best anyway. (Okay maybe that’s the real reason I’m posting hers, but I didn’t want to seem disrespectful to the dead or her bereaving granddaughter, so needed another excuse, but hey, I’m drunk now on Rifle & Smack, which if you don’t breathe through your nose while you sip it is actually okay, so I’m feeling honest. This 13 year old girl is amazing and I say that with no ironing.) Enjoy the video :-) <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>RIP ETTA JAMES</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/JGeHiTsQaD0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The emotion Rachel feels is so real. It’s like, when she’s singing about her lover leaving her she really knows what it’s like. Or it could also be like the “lover” is the “judges/audience” whose hands her fate is in, and she’s singing to them that she doesn’t want this love affair aka "time on the X Factor", to end. Watch it again now with that in mind, and it will give you chills. WATCH. IT. AGAIN.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">How long are blogs supposed to be? Am I allowed to take a nap? I guess if you don’t read this live, but tape it for later, then you can fast forward through my nap, so I’m gonna nap. You would think the Red Bull should be keeping me up, but I really put in mostly Glenfiddledick and just a splash of bull, so I’m feeling kinda tired. While I’m napping, you can take a break. I’ll give you some ideas of what to do. A) Have a snack. Maybe some cashews, or some licorice, or some ham. B) Straighten your hair. I didn’t want to say anything, but it’s totally frizzly. C) Write to your senator. Because that’s how you get things DONE. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Okay, snoozles!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">***********<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Okay, I’m back from my nap! I hope that wasn’t too boring for you and you found something interesting to do. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So there’s my first blog! I’m not sure if I was supposed to write about something pacific or not, but if Twitter is anything to go by, people care what celebrities say even if it’s meaningless garbage. At least I gave you an emotional journey, am I right? Plus Twitter is really inhibiting for someone like me who has a lot to say. But this is all for now, until next time, when I will write again. To tell you more. About what’s on my mind. Also, please suggest some other, not disgusting, cocktails for me to make whilst I write the next one.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So, gonna go throw up and then Google the new episode of American Idol. J Lo is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pretty, and I love how Steven Tyler does his makeup. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Love you guys!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Pistol xoxoxoxoxo<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">PS I should also thank my best gal pal and mentor, Miss <a href="http://dixielongate.com/">Dixie Longate</a>, for encouraging me to start blogging. She is an inspirational single mom who started her own business selling Tupperware to middle class housewives, and now she is an international superstar. Check out her <a href="http://dixielongate.wordpress.com/">blog </a>and check her <a href="http://dixielongate.com/party.html">tour schedule</a> to see if she’s bringing one of her Tupperware parties to a town near you.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-24998194200373561862012-01-20T13:30:00.000-08:002012-01-20T13:32:21.867-08:00This Blog Needs A Serious Update<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Okay, so we kinda forgot that we have a blog. Who reads blogs anyway? Oh, geeks do. And it turns out a lot of our fans are geeks. And we love our fans. So now we love our blog.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Since the last blog, we went to Edinburgh. We kind of blacked out for a few weeks in the middle, but fortunately some people documented what happened. This is what they wrote:</span><br />
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">‘A fine-tuned show… big laughs, deft character work and impressive musicality.’</span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">(</span></i><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.timeout.com/london/cabaret/article/2679/edinburgh-fringe-2011-cabaret-report" target="_blank"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Time Out</span></i></a></span><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 16pt;">««««</span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">‘Personality, music, religion, sex and culture all clash in this riotous act </span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">and the overall effect is a funny, flirtatious concoction that is very entertaining.’</span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">(</span></i><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.whatsonstage.com/reviews/theatre/edinburgh/E8831312891804/Pistol+%26+Jack+%96+Smash.Glam.Sex.Music..html" target="_blank"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">What’s</span></i></a></span><i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> On Stage</span></i><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 16pt;">««««<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">‘A loud, hilarious night.’</span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">(</span></i><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.broadwaybaby.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=10268" target="_blank"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Broadway Baby</span></i></a></span><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">)</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">‘</span><span lang="FR" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">A real tour de force…</span><span lang="FR" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">an emotional yet comic tale of </span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">desperation, depravity and love.’</span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-hyphenate: auto; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">(</span></i><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.totallyjewish.com/entertainment/features_and_reviews/?content_id=16810" target="_blank"><i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Jewish News</span></i></a></span><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">)</span></i><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm9UQkMroO91pZ4qrvL25Mwev-a3kznhP4uRTpHvDZt2AsofC5Am0xmKb8XJSt2nlxXCnb0_xigba0LL3AOBBA1MhY_DflvYjGEjrPRnVEMwOdVuor6WCj10QV53BUskdi6ggFfU6w1Lk/s1600/25.08.11+Jewish+News.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm9UQkMroO91pZ4qrvL25Mwev-a3kznhP4uRTpHvDZt2AsofC5Am0xmKb8XJSt2nlxXCnb0_xigba0LL3AOBBA1MhY_DflvYjGEjrPRnVEMwOdVuor6WCj10QV53BUskdi6ggFfU6w1Lk/s640/25.08.11+Jewish+News.jpg" width="507" /></a></div><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Yes. That's us on the cover. Of The Jewish News. They LOVED us. They even came to watch us on a Friday night, which is the highest honour. Because watching cabaret on Shabbat is a mitzvah. Look it up in the Torah.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Then we took the show to the <a href="http://www.sohotheatre.com/whats-on/pistol-andamp-jack-smash-glam-sex-music/">Soho Theatre</a>. It was so great to perform in our home, back amongst the prostitutes and crack addicts. It looked like this:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUH27nxv_SX1B-qUyaIZv2zlH7CTb_uVsytSCZ7qNYa2sU28Nr-dXYO-oLHSd_Nxgz1mXOl4MrneKJpGmj0ttENHoYMJUiyejOxUYDKb2OdAZFMGSiZ8RJQgNa4lr_DyNGV4HqBa927ks/s1600/P%2526J+Soho+Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUH27nxv_SX1B-qUyaIZv2zlH7CTb_uVsytSCZ7qNYa2sU28Nr-dXYO-oLHSd_Nxgz1mXOl4MrneKJpGmj0ttENHoYMJUiyejOxUYDKb2OdAZFMGSiZ8RJQgNa4lr_DyNGV4HqBa927ks/s1600/P%2526J+Soho+Poster.jpg" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Then we did a Christmas show for several nights at the <a href="http://www.tristanbatestheatre.co.uk/">Tristan Bates Theatre</a>. Pistol wore a dreidel on her head and talked a lot about Hannukah. Nobody understood her, so we asked some friends to perform. It looked like this (photos <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">© simonkanephotography.co.uk</span><wbr style="background-color: white; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;"></wbr><span class="word_break" style="background-color: white; display: inline-block; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;"></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;"> 2011):</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">THIS IS US:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUk8V6G52-x2hxA8afns5sY_8nTyBsMBB-CCxMFW6JHa7NSkXnbHYqftAQUrc_U4o36sPqy9jV6gx-CgoujuZyJ3ej3FGXK3FfL_Rh2yUksAnZpCMixqahTn1qD7rcyPaYvwKPpkJiuWU/s1600/402267_315425851813918_100000395182459_1047621_122220351_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUk8V6G52-x2hxA8afns5sY_8nTyBsMBB-CCxMFW6JHa7NSkXnbHYqftAQUrc_U4o36sPqy9jV6gx-CgoujuZyJ3ej3FGXK3FfL_Rh2yUksAnZpCMixqahTn1qD7rcyPaYvwKPpkJiuWU/s320/402267_315425851813918_100000395182459_1047621_122220351_n.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.bobandjim.co.uk/"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">THIS IS BOB & JIM: </span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZkgfl6E4yz2PrEOwuKAONrXgDg-a3KxtbUmC63Md6nK5jS-TM9mdEVkLD7OCpzTWy08hquNlPy9U87azqg0GDyRMB48g0lX4jBbw_w7h_1Yduro9LbFMQ9xSZYVZErrApRtlKrc4FOMc/s320/384426_315426108480559_100000395182459_1047626_2071680736_n.jpg" width="320" /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/clubwilfredo"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">THIS IS WILFREDO: </span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3TBairuuTCUYgvXaX8ZqSKbLdXPVp0EvhjtJdZPguPFZeZQfDptG8HH0nse6iKIPW3p87MqHXnyjOAUplosraZKmp7iCQ47sjqCBBB6uBDWhc5nh4l4ENy_SQVVb3zBa406O4DDnuZ0Y/s1600/391150_315426518480518_100000395182459_1047634_633576418_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3TBairuuTCUYgvXaX8ZqSKbLdXPVp0EvhjtJdZPguPFZeZQfDptG8HH0nse6iKIPW3p87MqHXnyjOAUplosraZKmp7iCQ47sjqCBBB6uBDWhc5nh4l4ENy_SQVVb3zBa406O4DDnuZ0Y/s320/391150_315426518480518_100000395182459_1047634_633576418_n.jpg" width="213" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And that's our last few months in a nutshell.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Thanks for listening.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">P&J XOXO</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span>Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-91486003523960437232011-07-05T09:12:00.000-07:002011-07-05T09:12:27.141-07:00Send Pistol & Jack to Edinburgh<div><div align="center"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2634/5773971238_e010931436.jpg" /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Dearest Stalkers,<u></u><u></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">As our long-time friends and supporters, it is you we must turn to to ask for help in carrying out our divine order to go to the Fringe, become massively famous, and take over the world. Having taken over both London and Croatia, we are now on a path to smash up Edinburgh every night at the Assembly Rooms in August. However, due to our manager (Pistol's estranged father) abandoning us, a run of bad luck with several record companies (who refuse to respond to our queries), and a few super-injunctions against Jack, we are hard-up <span style="background: yellow;"><span style="background-color: white;">and require financial support from YOU to help get us to Scotland.</span></span><u></u><u></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">By clicking the link below you can watch our latest video featuring the usual P&J kerfuffery and clips of our new song as we busk for donations. You can also check out our WeFund funding page which offers information on our new show and incentives to give us the odd two quid (or more) to help us. Even just watching the video and clicking the Facebook ‘like’ would be a massive help to us. But, ya know, money is preferred.<u></u><u></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.wefund.co.uk/project/pistol-jack-smash-edinburgh" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">http://www.wefund.co.uk/<wbr>project/pistol-jack-smash-<wbr>edinburgh</span></a><u></u><u></u></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Don’t think you’ll go away empty-handed, though. By donating to our cause, you can get P&J merchandise, tickets <span style="background: yellow;"><span style="background-color: white;">to the show</span></span>, and even a private gig/personal touching. <u></u><u></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Support the arts, support comedy, support filth and debauchery. Give to the cause.<u></u><u></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Much gratitude,<u></u><u></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Pistol & Jack<u></u><u></u></span></div></div><div><div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></div><div class="h5"><div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>SMASH</strong><strong><span style="font-family: Wingdings;">«</span>GLAM</strong><strong><span style="font-family: Wingdings;">«</span>SEX</strong><strong><span style="font-family: Wingdings;">«</span>MUSIC --</strong><strong><span> 3 - 28 August at <a href="http://www.assemblyfestival.com/webpages/whatson_moreinfobooknow.php?id=3:152&date=all&#title" target="_blank">Assembly George Square</a>, Edinburgh Festival Fringe</span></strong><u></u><u></u></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">'If there's a better and funnier live mash-up act, we haven't seen them... See them now...' (Londonist)</span></span></b><u></u><u></u></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em><b>'Hilarious. Solid characterisation... Big laughs... Impressive musicality...' (Time Out, Critics' Choice)</b></em><u></u><u></u></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b><span>'Sublime talent, humour and intelligence.' (Fringe Report)</span></b><u></u><u></u></span></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><a href="http://www.pistolandjack.com/" target="_blank"><span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">www.pistolandjack.com</span></span></a></b><u></u><u></u></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pistolandjack" target="_blank"><span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">www.facebook.com/pistolandjack</span></span></a></b><u></u><u></u></div></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><strong><a href="http://www.twitter.com/pistolandjack" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">www.twitter.com/pistolandjack</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></strong><u></u><u></u></div></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div></div>Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-58172222271738262172011-06-02T03:39:00.000-07:002011-06-02T03:39:37.110-07:00Edinburgh Previews for SMASH*GLAM*SEX*MUSIC<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://leicestersquaretheatre.ticketsolve.com/shows/126515075/events">CLICK HERE TO BOOK NOW!!!</a></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSj6MFjF5N5rZKKj-57qF5xjiBtY6Od0uiLxln6vvoxJV7WlIlgR_CVRNR6XTkE1k2DRZYdeG4MB_XHPUaR9JsPGfL50OKXN4wGctW9UOuuBe0B_kIJc6PsdCawIJ2i_sYOsjYYuL2Ues/s1600/Pistol+and+Jack+at+Leicester+Square+Theatre+every+Friday+in+June.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSj6MFjF5N5rZKKj-57qF5xjiBtY6Od0uiLxln6vvoxJV7WlIlgR_CVRNR6XTkE1k2DRZYdeG4MB_XHPUaR9JsPGfL50OKXN4wGctW9UOuuBe0B_kIJc6PsdCawIJ2i_sYOsjYYuL2Ues/s640/Pistol+and+Jack+at+Leicester+Square+Theatre+every+Friday+in+June.jpg" width="451" /></a></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><o:p></o:p></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://leicestersquaretheatre.ticketsolve.com/shows/126515075/events">CLICK HERE TO BOOK NOW!!!</a><o:p></o:p></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-89373336811423687292011-05-11T07:55:00.001-07:002011-05-11T08:02:54.241-07:00Pistol & Jack's May Goss<div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: arial;"><img src="http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/215073_204864719536699_100000395182459_636876_4685069_n.jpg" /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;">Dearest darlingest stalkers,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div></div><div><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;">Things are busy, exciting, and fabulous for us, but we won't go into too much detail, because we're sick of making you jealous. As your favourite <span style="border-collapse: collapse;">Anglo-American Male-<wbr></wbr>Female Pop-Rock Mash-Up Comedy-Cabaret Double-Act</span> we want to uplift and inspire you, not hold a mirror up to your wasted lives and depress you. With that in mind, here's the very quickest of updates on what's coming up so that you can stalk us in person...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div></div></div><div class="im" style="font-size: small;"><div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><strong><u>East Enders...</u></strong> On <strong><span style="color: #cc33cc;">17th May</span></strong> we are excited to be joining <strong>UnderConstruction</strong> for our first time at <strong>Bistrotheque</strong> in Bethnal Green. Alongside other acts -- Ophelia Blitz, Ingenue St John, Claire Benjamin, and Lavinia Co-Op -- we'll be presenting some new work from our upcoming Edinburgh show. Booking happens here: </span><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><a href="http://rudegrrl.net/underconstruction" target="_blank">http://rudegrrl.net/<wbr></wbr>underconstruction</a></span><br />
<br />
</div><div><div style="font-family: arial;"></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><strong><u>School's out for summer...</u></strong> Before taking a hiatus to focus on the big show, we will present ONE MORE <strong>Sunday Service</strong> on <strong><span style="color: #cc33cc;">22nd May</span></strong>. It's an incredibly exciting line-up with cabaret from <strong>East End Cabaret</strong> and <strong>Luke Meredith</strong>, burlesque from <strong>Kitty Cointreau</strong>, and character comedy from <strong>Holly Burn</strong>. You can book your <strong>£6 advance tickets</strong> here: </span><a href="http://tinyurl.com/22May2011" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="http://sohotheatre.ticketsolve.com/shows/126512030/events/126588839/"><span style="color: #2d76b9; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;">http://tinyurl.com/<wbr></wbr>22May2011</span></a><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"> We strongly advise you do this booking ahead thing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: arial;"></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><strong><u>Sneaky peek...</u></strong> Every Friday in <strong><span style="color: #cc33cc;">June (3rd, 10th, 17th, 24th)</span></strong> at <strong>Leicester Square Theatre</strong> we'll be previewing our new show <strong>SMASH<span style="font-family: Wingdings;">«</span>GLAM<span style="font-family: Wingdings;">«</span>SEX<span style="font-family: Wingdings;">«</span>MUSIC </strong>before we take it to Edinburgh for the Fringe. Book here to get in on the action and be a part of developing the runaway hit of the Fringe: <span style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: #444444; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/pjlsqpreviews" rel="nofollow" style="color: #0084b4; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="http://www.leicestersquaretheatre.com/lqt/show/S1303221596/Pistol+%26+Jack/"><u>http://tinyurl.com/pjlsqpreviews</u></a><wbr></wbr> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: #444444; line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: arial;"></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><strong><u>The full monty...</u></strong> And finally, if you've not already seen it in the tabloids, or all over the Twitterbook, the rumours are true: We WILL be debuting our new show</span><span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span> <span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><strong>PISTOL & JACK - SMASH<span style="font-family: Wingdings;">«</span>GLAM<span style="font-family: Wingdings;">«</span>SEX<span style="font-family: Wingdings;">«</span>MUSIC</strong> </span><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;">this summer at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Catch it every night at 9.20pm at <strong>Assembly</strong> George Square. Booking info to follow. </span></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #444444; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="line-height: 19px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;">That's all for now. Buh-bye. Miss you.</span></div><div style="font-family: arial;"></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;">P&J xx</span></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #888888;"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #888888;"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><b><a href="http://www.pistolandjack.com/" target="_blank">www.pistolandjack.com</a></b></span></span></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #888888;"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><b><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pistolandjack" target="_blank">www.facebook.com/pistolandjack</a></b></span></span></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #888888;"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></span></span></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #888888;"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><b>Time Out Critics' Choice</b></span></span></div><div style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #888888;"><span style="color: #888888; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;"><b>'Sublime talent, humour and intelligence.' (Fringe Report)</b></span></span></div><div style="font-family: arial;"></div></div></div>Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-7989338217543944822011-03-17T10:21:00.000-07:002011-03-17T10:22:37.932-07:00Pistol and Jack's March Goss<div class="gmail_quote"><div class="gmail_quote"><div lang="EN-GB" link="blue" vlink="purple"><div><div><div class="im"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgodS1bt5C-TbEztIziGCoc-wqBR3XvQmfwXpF86_5vglSO5ZuIEuHCzk9T4CPmdYbULXizWe4s8QpwkNGEK8N-TNUm-NQj2JEr6VKVTF1f9SUBczYdw747axyj2JwVKiG_WoHxF9Y-jXI/s1600/MCAHeatEdited.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgodS1bt5C-TbEztIziGCoc-wqBR3XvQmfwXpF86_5vglSO5ZuIEuHCzk9T4CPmdYbULXizWe4s8QpwkNGEK8N-TNUm-NQj2JEr6VKVTF1f9SUBczYdw747axyj2JwVKiG_WoHxF9Y-jXI/s320/MCAHeatEdited.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Hello Lovely Stalkers,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">We are pleased to bring you a quick update of what’s been going on up here at the top.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">AROUND TOWN</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Pistol is on the mend after suffering an injury to her left foot whilst being trampled in a stampede outside Justin Bieber's hotel in Liverpool. She would like to thank her fans for their well-wishes and continued support as she recovers. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The press hasn't left us alone since Charlie Sheen launched a tirade against Jack in his online internet webcast. He was quoted as saying, "I like to have a drink, a few lines, and an orgy, but that mother-#£%$*'s crazy. You tell Jack I need my that back. He'll know what I mean". Jack has maintained his stance of no comment, though sources close to him reveal he has said on several occasions that, "Chuck's on his own journey now, and you gotta respect the fella."</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div><div><div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></div><div class="h5"><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN"><a href="http://www.pistolandjack.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></span></a></span></div><span lang="EN"></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">IN YOUR FACES</span></span></b></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b><span lang="EN">Our next Sunday Service is THIS Sunday!</span></b><span lang="EN"> We’re back in the <strong>Soho Theatre Bar</strong> and this month’s show features a wicked line-up with </span>ukulele silliness from <b>HELEN ARNEY</b>, clowny burlesque <b>from AUDACITY CHUTZPAH</b>, and musical sketch hijinks from <b>HORSE & LOUIS</b>. </span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN"><strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">BOOK NOW on </span></strong><a href="http://tinyurl.com/MarchSundayService2011" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext;"><strong><span style="color: #3333ff; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">http://tinyurl.com/<wbr>MarchSundayService2011</span></strong></span></a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Soho Theatre Bar</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">21 Dean Street</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">London W1D 3NE</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">6.30pm Doors/7pm Show</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">£6 Advance/£10 On Door </span></span></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center"><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-collapse: collapse; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="border-bottom: black 1pt solid; border-left: black 1pt solid; border-right: black 1pt solid; border-top: black 1pt solid; padding-bottom: 0cm; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0cm; width: 159.6pt;" valign="top" width="213"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">HELEN ARNEY</span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img alt="183721_196658200357351_100000395182459_589239_7661069_n.jpg" border="0" height="211" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=0b1cdec9b4&view=att&th=12ec4cf410835e61&attid=0.3&disp=emb&realattid=6c660d268027648e_0.1&zw" width="141" /></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 8.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘Champion of musical whims’ </span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 8.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">(Evening Standard)</span></span></div></td><td style="border-bottom: black 1pt solid; border-left: medium none; border-right: black 1pt solid; border-top: black 1pt solid; padding-bottom: 0cm; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0cm; width: 159.6pt;" valign="top" width="213"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">AUDACITY CHUTZPAH</span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img alt="197818_196660563690448_100000395182459_589245_7277136_n.jpg" border="0" height="200" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=0b1cdec9b4&view=att&th=12ec4cf410835e61&attid=0.2&disp=emb&realattid=6c660d268027648e_0.2&zw" width="178" /></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 8.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘Clever and hilarious, Audacity Chutzpah is an undoubted genius </span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 8.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">at her craft.’</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 8.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">(Debased Magazine)</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div></td><td style="border-bottom: black 1pt solid; border-left: medium none; border-right: black 1pt solid; border-top: black 1pt solid; padding-bottom: 0cm; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0cm; width: 159.6pt;" valign="top" width="213"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">HORSE & LOUIS</span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img alt="188955_196660087023829_100000395182459_589243_446083_n.jpg" border="0" height="192" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=0b1cdec9b4&view=att&th=12ec4cf410835e61&attid=0.1&disp=emb&realattid=6c660d268027648e_0.3&zw" width="192" /></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 8.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">'Genuinely funny' (</span><a href="http://chortle.co.uk/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Chortle.co.uk</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">)<br />
'Fantastic' (</span><a href="http://musicalcomedy.co.uk/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">MusicalComedy.co.uk</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">)</span></span></div></td></tr>
</tbody></table></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">ON THE WEB</span></b></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">A few weeks ago we were papped competing at the <b>Musical Comedy Awards</b>. Whilst we didn’t make it through to the semi-finals, it was still a lovely afternoon, and we send our congratulations through clenched teeth to the finalists. Check out our glorious moments here at 3:11: </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/cQTtCawd6O8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Our gorgeous <b>website</b> is still gorgeous, and if you haven’t checked it out yet, you should do so now: </span><a href="http://www.pistolandjack.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">www.pistolandjack.com</span></span></a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">OTHER EXCITING CRAP COMING UP:</span></span></b></div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Also coming soon:</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><b>10<sup>th</sup> April</b> – It’s a quick turnaround before our next instalment of <b>Pistol & Jack’s Sunday Service</b>. April’s super sexy line-up features burlesque from <b>Harlow Heartbreak</b>, Musical Comedy Award finalist <b>Mae Martin</b>, and the cabaret legends that are <b>Des O’Connor</b> and <b>Tricity Vogue</b>! Stay tuned for booking information.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><b>22<sup>nd</sup> May </b>– <b>Pistol & Jack’s Sunday Service </b>brings you<b> </b>May flowers in the form of burlesque from <b>Kitty Cointreau</b>, character comedy from <b>Holly Burn</b>, and cabaret musical comedy gold from Mister <b>Luke Meredith</b>! Loves it! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><b>Every Friday in June </b>-- Set aside one of your Friday evenings in June to catch the Edinburgh previews of our new show at the <b>Leicester Square Theatre</b>! More details to follow in the coming weeks.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">See you in your dreams.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">P&J xx</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></div></div></div></div></div></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span>Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-34488815637758550202011-02-24T02:24:00.000-08:002011-02-24T04:15:07.651-08:00Pistol & Jack's February Goss<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5u7bO_y55ITbaY1Gc_jqHeXTUur3MV9VN1GP9Oj0MIdZ-FsT9S6Lmw-VeYadrKiVsOSpqpXe79-aW3aLOt9_CxbuPQohN_0CqnjYHti9sXpTo4qOYt1k1uHC65jgVYTitQnBNZsXPeVs/s1600/generic_eflyer_front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" j6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5u7bO_y55ITbaY1Gc_jqHeXTUur3MV9VN1GP9Oj0MIdZ-FsT9S6Lmw-VeYadrKiVsOSpqpXe79-aW3aLOt9_CxbuPQohN_0CqnjYHti9sXpTo4qOYt1k1uHC65jgVYTitQnBNZsXPeVs/s320/generic_eflyer_front.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Hi Stalkers!</span></b></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The paparazzi have left us alone for a while, so we thought we’d blast you with our own coverage of all the Pistol & Jack gossip you’ve been begging for.</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0;">BREAKING NEWS:</span></b> The most exciting thing to hit your bandwidth since social networking has officially arrived<span style="color: black;">: </span><span style="color: #00b0f0;">the new Pistol & Jack website has launched!</span> Check it out at <span style="color: #00b0f0;"><a href="http://www.pistolandjack.com/"><span style="color: #00b0f0;">www.pistolandjack.com</span></a> .*</span> The new site has YouTube and Flickr galleries to inspire your fan art, a press page to see what the rags have been saying about us, links to all of the places you can web-stalk us, and listings of our upcoming shows so you can stalk us in person. </span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0;">READ THIS PART:</span></b> It’s almost been one whole year since we started our monthly variety show <span style="color: #00b0f0;">“Pistol & Jack’s Sunday Service”</span> at the Soho Theatre Bar. Our next show is <b><span style="color: #00b0f0;">THIS Sunday, 27th February</span></b>. Take out your diary/iPhucker/Take That pin-up calendar, and mark it in NOW. We’ve temporarily moved upstairs to the studio, which is just delicious, and are excited to bring you two gorgeous acts:</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: 18pt;">Pistol & Jack’s Sunday Service</span></b></div></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">27<sup>th</sup> February 2010</span></b></div></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">6.30pm</span></b></div></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Soho Theatre Studio</span></b></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><strong><span style="color: #00b0f0;"></span></strong><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoTableGrid" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-collapse: collapse; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; mso-border-alt: solid black .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: text1; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184;"><tbody>
<tr style="mso-yfti-firstrow: yes; mso-yfti-irow: 0; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes;"><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: black 1pt solid; border-left: black 1pt solid; border-right: black 1pt solid; border-top: black 1pt solid; mso-border-alt: solid black .5pt; mso-border-themecolor: text1; padding-bottom: 0cm; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0cm; width: 254.75pt;" valign="top" width="340"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Transdrogynous Cabaret Singer-Storyteller</span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; font-size: 18pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">LA JOHN JOSEPH</span></b><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">“Poutily-poignant, bracingly glacial....A sublime young talent.” – Time Out</span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR0x2nASOooyuCoIymgbRWZz2nRmhpOJjpyShNvBdr1nj4u4r_0GgtLHoHcvRUlWXh9dnV1tR4VfmOCdWTEhpK9m9sotUpDYYiatQIh9OsDtrci7IKBhMC_Ps4lIlFG1nMHq2k0a2zpqs/s1600/LaJJ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" j6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR0x2nASOooyuCoIymgbRWZz2nRmhpOJjpyShNvBdr1nj4u4r_0GgtLHoHcvRUlWXh9dnV1tR4VfmOCdWTEhpK9m9sotUpDYYiatQIh9OsDtrci7IKBhMC_Ps4lIlFG1nMHq2k0a2zpqs/s320/LaJJ.jpg" width="217" /></span></a></span></div></td><td style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: black 1pt solid; border-left: #ece9d8; border-right: black 1pt solid; border-top: black 1pt solid; mso-border-alt: solid black .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid black .5pt; mso-border-left-themecolor: text1; mso-border-themecolor: text1; padding-bottom: 0cm; padding-left: 5.4pt; padding-right: 5.4pt; padding-top: 0cm; width: 9cm;" valign="top" width="340"><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">Stand-up Comedy from</span></b></div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; font-size: 18pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">LIZ HOBBS</span></b><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"></span></b></div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">“Skillful jokes with divine delivery. Liz Hobbs is wickedly funny and a breath of fresh air.”</span></b></div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">- Shappi Khorsandi</span></b></div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS','sans-serif';"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpmHf5QA1xq1MQz1hcCEyZJKE_6PxDIJHVt1TKSZnGvDG7CZGhYNXsJJ6nAYqltw5KTgklh0cwLyO-zj234gfiEaNA59Rkp-asZNV3PFecPshnqFkagAhk9T_w8PD4jomZtLh9OcmqyhM/s1600/Lhobbs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" j6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpmHf5QA1xq1MQz1hcCEyZJKE_6PxDIJHVt1TKSZnGvDG7CZGhYNXsJJ6nAYqltw5KTgklh0cwLyO-zj234gfiEaNA59Rkp-asZNV3PFecPshnqFkagAhk9T_w8PD4jomZtLh9OcmqyhM/s320/Lhobbs.jpg" width="227" /></span></a></span></div></td></tr>
</tbody></table></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></div></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>BOOK BOOK BOOK NOW NOW NOW</strong> at <span style="color: #00b0f0;"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/pjssfeb11" target="_blank"><span style="color: #00b0f0;">http://tinyurl.com/pjssfeb11</span></a></span>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Tickets are a mere <span style="color: #00b0f0;">£6 if you buy in advance</span>, and a tenner on the door.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">OTHER EXCITING CRAP COMING UP:</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b>· </b> <b><span style="color: #00b0f0;">26th February: The Musical Comedy Awards: Quarter-Final Round</span></b>. We’ve made the cut to the quarter-final round and are competing to make it to the semi’s this Saturday! If you love us, and particularly if you live North-ish, come support and VOTE for us! It’s at <span style="color: #00b0f0;">1.30pm at the Wilmington Arms</span> in Clerkenwell. Booking is advised as this one tends to pack them in and sell out. Book at <span style="color: #00b0f0;"><a href="http://www.wegottickets.com/event/102830"><span style="color: #00b0f0;">http://www.wegottickets.com/event/102830</span></a> </span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b>· <span style="color: #00b0f0;">2nd March: Mad Arse: Comedy for the Disgruntled</span></b>. The launch for drag chanteuse Myra Dubois’ new comedy night at The Red Room under Positively 4th Street, Euston. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">See you this weekend!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">P&J xx</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">*Huge big-ups and tears of gratitude are due to our web designer Adam Dewhirst. (Check out his own site at <span style="color: #00b0f0;"><a href="http://www.intelligentape.co.uk/"><span style="color: #00b0f0;">www.intelligentape.co.uk</span></a> </span>and follow him on twitter <span style="color: #00b0f0;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/intelligentape"><span style="color: #00b0f0;">www.twitter.com/intelligentape</span></a></span>.) </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></div>Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3355796427236624443.post-52795277030902203902011-01-19T08:01:00.000-08:002011-01-20T03:10:09.413-08:00January Goss<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;"><a href="http://sohotheatre.ticketsolve.com/shows/126512030/events/126577162"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">CLICK HERE TO BOOK £6 ADVANCE TICKETS FOR THIS SUNDAY’S SHOW NOW!</span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXehh7qljeiZxvtMab3ZDlAMlMCBRq7COZKW7_QaNExmjqL1h7GY2ZNRX3O-0dWSu4AvgTsKPFpxd9mqKeTtvOF_l0MjRbQRQ62itcMcX1m-zAehq1sOcWwzZJlDJ6OTkhofUhOapXgOk/s1600/Sunday_Service_JAN+2011_Full_Flyer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="255" s5="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXehh7qljeiZxvtMab3ZDlAMlMCBRq7COZKW7_QaNExmjqL1h7GY2ZNRX3O-0dWSu4AvgTsKPFpxd9mqKeTtvOF_l0MjRbQRQ62itcMcX1m-zAehq1sOcWwzZJlDJ6OTkhofUhOapXgOk/s400/Sunday_Service_JAN+2011_Full_Flyer.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">What's up, stalkers?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Here's a new little thang from us, a newsletter telling you all we've been up to, and the important things we've got coming up. </span><br />
<div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>2010</strong> ended brilliantly... We performed our new show "Electric Blue" at the <strong>Nu:Write Festival in Zagreb, Croatia</strong> to a crowd of over 200 enthusiastic and amazing fans. Huge thanks to the Tristan Bates Theatre for bringing us over and including us in the Midnight Matinee. Here's a wee video to tell you more about what we did. <span style="line-height: 14px;">Check us out doing our sang-thang at <strong>3:29</strong>, and a micro-cameo at 1:51 for the stalkers who need to see every bit of us. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/78XnyXcUciY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And for the super-stalkers, here's a video one of you illegally posted of us from the same show:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/UXLidyTbOZk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div></div><div><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">A few weeks later we auditioned for <strong>Britain's Got Talent</strong>. It was a dream come true for Pistol... for Jack it was more "like a dream where you wake up and feel like you've slept with a relative". We did have some trouble finding the audition and filmed the journey:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/PH0Q73j2Qho?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">We await with giddiness to hear if we've made it to the next step of the competition. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></div><div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Then came the festive season. Pistol lit the Hanukkah candles and spun her dreidel, whilst Jack carefully tended to his garden of mistletoe in preparation for the party season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We played our last gig of the year, Pistol & Jack's Christmas Sack, at Carnivale to a splendid crowd, and we also recorded our third show, a Christmas Special, for <strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Reel Rebels Radio</span></strong>. Listen to it here, and be patient with the occasional silences (they're not our fault, we promise): </span><a href="http://www.reelrebelsradio.com/show/pistol-jack-3" target="_blank"><span style="color: #6e66cc; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">http://www.<wbr>reelrebelsradio.com/show/<wbr>pistol-jack-3</span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">2011 promises lots more fun as we focus on preparing "Electric Blue" for a world tour (dates, places, and actual tour still TBC), gear up for the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Edinburgh Festival</b>, and more of our London appearances. We also just made it through to the quarter-finals of the <strong><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Musical Comedy Awards</span></strong>! Watch this space for details of when they are so you can come support and vote for us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><u><strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">EXCITING CRAP COMING UP:</span></strong></u><u><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></u><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;"></span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">· </span><u>23rd January</u>:</strong> Our next<strong> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Pistol & Jack's Sunday Service</span></strong> ("a raucous evening of cabaret, burlesque, comedy and general silliness." -- Fringe Report) will feature <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;"><strong>Doctor Brown</strong></span> ("Truly unique, utterly bizarre, incredibly funny." - TimeOut) and <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;"><strong>The Tootsie Rollers</strong> </span>("They sing and tap us back to the 50s, with their surprisingly powerful voices" - Alternative Fringe). This month we're moving upstairs to the Soho Theatre studio for a change of scenery. <strong> <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;"><a href="http://sohotheatre.ticketsolve.com/shows/126512030/events/126577162" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3b339a;">Book here</span></a></span></strong> and come along, dudes! (P.S. If you book now it's only £6, as opposed to £10 on the door.)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 12pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">· </span><u>8th February</u>:</strong> We'll be performing a little showcase preview of "<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;"><strong>Electric Blue</strong></span>" for a very special invited audience (meaning you and some stuffy industry types). It will be at the Soho Theatre Studio at 9pm. We'd love the support of our biggest fans, and it won't be listed anywhere else, so if you want to be on the VIP list, respond to </span><a href="mailto:info@pistolandjack.com" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3b339a; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">info@pistolandjack.com</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> and let us know you're coming.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">· </span><u>9th February</u>:</strong> Comedy Kitchen at The Half Moon. PilotLight Theatre's comedic offering to those down south. Get in.</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">· </span><u>11th February</u>:</strong> SideShow at Leicester Square Theatre. We're very excited to join Des O'Connor, the ultimate cabaret pro, for his weekly show of all things fabulous and freaky.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 12pt; text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Venue details, booking links and all the info you need for all of the above can be found on </span><a href="http://www.pistolandjack.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3b339a; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">www.pistolandjack.com</span></a></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> under the <strong>Performances</strong> tab.</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Okay folks, that's all our crap going on at the moment! We'll be back in a few weeks to touch you once again.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Pistol & Jack x</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></div></div></div></div>Pistol & Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16359226452604259759noreply@blogger.com0